Saturday, 7 December 2013

My Lovely Dad, 1923-2013

 

10 Parents' Golden Wedding Party - Dad 1

The consultant physician at the hospital phoned my hubby yesterday afternoon to say that Dad had taken a turn for the worse. After visiting him briefly, he asked me if I would like to go in in the evening as it may be the last chance. After our evening meal we went, and stayed from about 8 p.m. until 11.50 when he quietly passed away.

His breathing was laboured and obviously taking a great deal of effort, despite the oxygen. He didn't speak at all, and to start with, lay with half closed eyes, but about half way through they moved him as he was obviously experiencing some discomfort, and after that his eyes were open until the end, fixed firmly on mine. I held his hand and stroked him throughout, speaking words of love, and reminding him of all the lovely times we'd had together, and thanking him for being such a wonderful Dad and teaching me so much, and sharing so much with me. During this time the nurse gave him a couple of injections - a further dose of morphine, and something to calm the breathing, after which his breathing became quieter and shallower, until it eventually stopped, and he slipped away. I know he was aware of us, and I know that sound is the last thing to go, and I know that he was carried along by our loving words.

The staff were absolutely amazing, quite phenomenal. We have witnessed how they treated all the old gentlemen in that bay on the ward, all gradually progressing towards the end - with dignity and respect, and with such gentleness and patience. They were so sweet with us, too. The ward had been closed except for emergency visiting because an infection had broken out, so we had to wear gloves and aprons (I hated not being able to have skin-to-skin contact with him) and they were happy for us to stay as long as we wanted, and when the end came, the three of them were standing at the end of his bed, and then they said they'd leave us alone with him for a bit. When we were ready they returned and were so sweet and kind with us, and before we left, one of them took us into the day room and gave us a booklet from the Bereavement Office, and said that anything we wanted to know, we could phone the ward any time and they would help.

I am so glad to have had the privilege of being there at his side as he passed, witnessing one of the great mysteries of the universe, happy that he did not have to make this transition alone.

10 comments:

  1. OH Shoshi, I'm so sorry for your loss ... but so glad you were able to be there with him at the end and that it was peaceful. Your Dad looks like a lovely man and I'm sure you will miss him, but he will always be with you and you obviously have very strong and positive memories of him. I'm so glad you like the idea of linking up to share the stories of our little treasures and I look forward to reading about yours. big hugs to you and yours xxx

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  2. So sorry to hear about your dad. He sounds wonderful man and it was so good you could be with him. I know you will miss him dreadfully but it is comforting to know that he is with Jesus and in a place of no more pain and discomfort. May God be with you all at this time - be blessed. xx

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  3. My thoughts are with you Shoshi
    Big hugs x

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  4. Shoshi I am sitting here with tears falling while reading your very moving post. It brought back memories of my own Dad's passing but the difference is I was not with him when the end came which I am very sad about.

    Fabulous picture of him, he looks like such a sweetie and you'll miss him but with time it gets easier although we never really get over the loss of a wonderful parent do we?

    All the very best to you and family.
    Elaine

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  5. Sending hearfelt condolences to you at this difficult time.
    Knowing you were there at the time of your dad's passing will remain a comfort to you always.
    I will keep you in my prayers Shoshi *hug*

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  6. What a beautiful thing to spend those final hours with your special Dad. I'm sure he was aware of so many loving caring family members and carers around him.
    I shed a tear I have to admit.
    I hope you find comfort and courage in the coming months Shoshi.
    The photo is fantastic.
    He looks an amazing guy and will be missed but never forgotten.
    Blessing to you and all of your family xoxo

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  7. Hi Shoshi.....so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. It sounds like it was a beautiful and peaceful one.

    I am sure he was comforted by the fact that you were with him at the end. Death is a sure thing, there is no doubt that we will all eventually leave this earth for what I believe greener pastures. One consolation is that you were fortunate to have him around until now. Many people are not as fortunate.

    May your beautiful memories you have of your father comfort you during those times when you miss him the most.

    Much love across the oceans

    Shamela :-)

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  8. I'm sorry to hear of your dad's passing, Shoshi. I'm happy for you that you were able to be with him in his final moments. He looks like a very sweet and kind man. Take care.

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  9. Beautifully and so movingly recounted - so sorry for your loss, this reminds me so much of how it was for my Dad too, the staff are wonderful both with the dying and those at their side. Our love to you at this sad time. xxx

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  10. Shoshi, I am so sorry for your loss and pain. Please be comforted in knowing that you will be together in paradise one day.
    Praying for you,
    Bobby

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