Wish I Felt Better!

This evening I've been looking at my blog, and I discovered that on some of the posts, the photos had disappeared! I'm not sure what happened... I may have moved some photos in Photobucket and the links were lost, but I thought when you did a blog, that the photos were actually embedded (there permanently) and not merely linked (i.e. will disappear if you move the source image). Anyway, I've replaced them.

I also re-did my very first post, which was my complete holiday journal of our holiday in Kent in the spring - I started my blog when we got back, and not knowing how to do anything different, I just put it on as one huge long post. I now know that you can put whatever date you want on the top of a post, so I've split it up into daily posts. Of course, this makes it look as if I started my blog in April, but actually I started it in mid-May. Sorting this out is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, so I'm pleased that I've got round to it at last.

Looking through my posts, I realise that I haven't been in my ARTHaven for far too long!!! I had that wretched flu and I'm still not over it - I'm still coughing, although not so much, thank goodness. I have also had all the extra stuff to deal with, with the new wheelchair assessment etc., and trying to catch up with all the things I would have done had I not gone down with flu - I'm very behind with quite a few things, quite apart from Art.

 

My energy levels are consistently pretty low at the moment, and I do realise I've got to rest up until I feel better. However, I've set myself quite a few projects to make for Christmas presents, and I can see myself coming nowhere near completing them all.

 

Throughout my illness it's been a gradual process of acceptance of how I am, and my limitations, but every now and then I feel as if I've stepped backwards in time and am at an earlier stage in this acceptance process - and have to deal with it all again, and relearn what I thought I'd already got under my belt. It's not serious, but looking at my blog this evening, I realise that I'm not where I should be, either physically or mentally in how I'm dealing with it. I am having to tell myself that getting frustrated, and feeling guilty for not doing things, and thinking I'm being lazy when I'm actually too ill to do things, is all totally counter-productive. I thought I'd learnt the lesson that striving actually does more harm than good!!

 

The main reason I'm feeling guilty and frustrated is that I still haven't done last month's accounts. There was a muddle over my credit card when I transferred from a monthly payment by cheque to direct debit, and it's all so complicated, transferring bits of money here, there and everywhere - work and personal stuff has to be separated, and I need to transfer money into my hubby's own personal account too - I can feel him champing at the bit wanting his money (of course he does!!!) but when I'm really poorly my brain just can't cope with it so it's being left day after day... I know I'll get to it eventually but it's in the back of my mind all the time which isn't helping. Once I get my head round it and get it sorted, I shall feel soooo much better!!! It's just one more extra pressure at the moment that I could do without.

 

I don't seem to have been in my ARTHaven for weeks and I'm missing it! That's what's really bugging me! I've got so many ideas and just want to put them into practice!

 

This isn't meant to be a moan. Nobody wants to listen to a moaning minnie! I'm fine really, so don't worry about me!! I'm just putting some thoughts down and recognising "where I'm at" just now. It will all sort itself out in the end, and meantime, I've just got to accept that I need a bit more rest than usual at the moment. I am so thankful for all the blessings in my life, and things could be a lot worse than they are!

 

Thanks for listening.