What’s on my workdesk this Wednesday? Again, nothing, I am sorry to say. Mr. Mojo and Mrs. Muse are still on their extended naughty holiday and are showing no sign of returning any time soon. I haven’t heard a word from them, not even a postcard.
Last time I didn’t have a picture to show you of my workdesk, it was suggested I put a picture of something else, so here goes.
This is a picture of some orange peel which I took several years ago and manipulated using my photo editing software (Serif PhotoPlus). Make of it what you will!
I now have a date for my surgery – Friday 27th February. I saw the surgeon last Thursday. For those who don’t regularly follow my blog, you can see full details on my Cancer Diary page (click tab below blog header), but basically it has been decided that I require much more radical surgery than originally suggested. I am having the whole of my large bowel removed, and an ileostomy created, so I shall be a gutless bag lady for the rest of my life. Although I felt fine about it while I was talking to the surgeon, I have become increasingly freaked out by the whole idea and terrified I won’t cope – although I keep reassuring myself on the stoma forum I have joined. Lots of people have this done, and once they’ve recovered from the surgery and learnt how to manage, they live full and active lives (not that my life is ever what you might call active lol!).
This is major surgery, and I shall probably be in hospital at least a week. They won’t know till they send the tumour for histological examination what stage the cancer is, or how aggressive; this will determine whether or not I require chemotherapy after surgery.
I am now trying to organise things at this end to be ready for when I come home. We are trying to find some respite care for Mum until my convalescence is well under way, but she is unwilling to go and we’ve been having considerable problems with her, and I have suffered a lot of stress, which I had been told by the anaesthetist to avoid at all costs, but that’s easier said than done! I am trying hard to keep a positive attitude and a sense of humour but today have failed miserably. I am now feeling quite desperate, and wanting to run away from the whole situation and hide.
Everybody is being very kind and supportive, and in front of me on the sitting room table is a wealth of beautiful flowers to cheer me on my way.
I'm sorry you are having a bad day Shoshi. I hope you can get help with your Mum sorted so you can get the rest you need at this time. Your flowers are beautiful.Best wishes to you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you are going through this. Stay strong. I will go hunt down Mr. Mojo and Mrs. Muse for you! No more vacation for them!
ReplyDeleteMy Scrap Menagerie WOYWW #72
Oh you poor darling.What a blow! My heart goes out to you. You will cope, I know you will, but the acceptance is the huge hurdle you face now. Many years ago, my dad had this operation, but he had just a twisted bowel, and eventually had the op reversed, but while he had the stoma, he managed quite well. It was a bit inconvenient at first, but like life it is amazing what we get used to and can cope with,.Please send me your address so I can send you a little something.
ReplyDeleteAll prayers and thoughts to you. I'll be thinking of you on Friday.
Love Judy xx
Shoshi, I really don't know what to say about your day, maybe go to bed sleep for an hour and then get up and start all over again. You could try shutting the door and turning off the phone and threatening torture to anyone who disturbs you. Other than that I can offer you my unique protective skills then nobody will get near you unless you want them too. Just give me a shout if you want me to board that plane. Yoda sends, snuggle, fluffy little cuddles if that helps to.
ReplyDeleteHugs Eliza & Yoda
Shoot don't publish the last message if you don't want too.
ReplyDeleteHugs Eliza
Oh Shoshi how could you not have a bad day with so much happening so quickly. It takes time to process all that is happening. I will definitely pray for your upcoming surgery. Sandra de @3
ReplyDeleteHi Shoshi, beautiful flowers- don't hyacinths smell divine? They can fill the whole house with scent. See you Saturday, Hugs, Shaz xxxx
ReplyDeleteOh Shoshi, what a tough time you are having - I feel for you and know how hard it is coping with your own medical problems plus an aging parent at the same time. I hope you get the respite care sorted out as soon as you can - and although it's hard I hope you manage to get some rest and concentrate on yourself and your needs. Thinking of you and sending you hugs,
ReplyDeleteDiana xx
Will be thinking and praying for you. Hope you find a solution for your mum so that hubby has an easier time
ReplyDeleteLovely flowers. Shoshi! They must smell heavenly! I didn't catch this post yesterday, but I'm glad you joined this week after all! Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog post. The best way to find good quotes on Google is to enter your keyword plus the word 'quote' and click on the images tab. You'll immediately see lots of quotes without having to visit any websites and you can quickly select the one best suited to your project. Will think of you next Friday. xx
ReplyDeleteHi Shoshi, all the feelings you are having are perfectly normal. You have so many things to think about but try to stay positive because you will get through it and yes you may well have to Chemothreapy afterwards but if you don't that's an added bonus. I wish you could meet my mum, she so makes me laugh when she talks about it. She says she prefers the Stoma to the normal method of toilet duties Lol! but I can tell you she went through all the same thoughts and worries that you are having.
ReplyDeleteI would love to send you a little something so you know I am thinking about you. It's up to you but if you would like that please send me your snail mail address. Lots of love and big big hugs, Angela x
So sorry you have to go through all this! But we have to take it as it comes. And somehow we always manage.... No wonder that your muse is on vacation. But I am sure everything will turn out ok. I wish you a lot of strength and a good rest to recover from all the stress.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Gabriele 19