What’s on my workdesk this Wednesday? Again, nothing, I am sorry to say. Mr. Mojo and Mrs. Muse are still on their extended naughty holiday and are showing no sign of returning any time soon. I haven’t heard a word from them, not even a postcard.
Last time I didn’t have a picture to show you of my workdesk, it was suggested I put a picture of something else, so here goes.
This is a picture of some orange peel which I took several years ago and manipulated using my photo editing software (Serif PhotoPlus). Make of it what you will!
I now have a date for my surgery – Friday 27th February. I saw the surgeon last Thursday. For those who don’t regularly follow my blog, you can see full details on my Cancer Diary page (click tab below blog header), but basically it has been decided that I require much more radical surgery than originally suggested. I am having the whole of my large bowel removed, and an ileostomy created, so I shall be a gutless bag lady for the rest of my life. Although I felt fine about it while I was talking to the surgeon, I have become increasingly freaked out by the whole idea and terrified I won’t cope – although I keep reassuring myself on the stoma forum I have joined. Lots of people have this done, and once they’ve recovered from the surgery and learnt how to manage, they live full and active lives (not that my life is ever what you might call active lol!).
This is major surgery, and I shall probably be in hospital at least a week. They won’t know till they send the tumour for histological examination what stage the cancer is, or how aggressive; this will determine whether or not I require chemotherapy after surgery.
I am now trying to organise things at this end to be ready for when I come home. We are trying to find some respite care for Mum until my convalescence is well under way, but she is unwilling to go and we’ve been having considerable problems with her, and I have suffered a lot of stress, which I had been told by the anaesthetist to avoid at all costs, but that’s easier said than done! I am trying hard to keep a positive attitude and a sense of humour but today have failed miserably. I am now feeling quite desperate, and wanting to run away from the whole situation and hide.
Everybody is being very kind and supportive, and in front of me on the sitting room table is a wealth of beautiful flowers to cheer me on my way.