Second Pre-Assessment Appointment

Yesterday I had my second pre-assessment appointment at the hospital, in advance of my upcoming operation. This time I saw one of the anaesthetists, and I was able to go over a few points with him that I’d covered last week with the nurse.

The main thing I wanted to talk to him about was having a PICC line installed at the outset, to avoid the problems I had last time with all my cannulae failing, and me ending up like a pincushion. He wasn’t over-keen on the idea, and said they like to do the minimum of invasive procedures – in this case there is a small risk of embolism, but when I asked him how small, he said “less than 1 percent” which I said was certainly very small, and I’d be prepared to take that risk, for the sake of an easy life and peace of mind!

He said it was really up to the anaesthetist in charge on the day of the operation, and also my surgeon, and suggested I speak to them on the day. He then said that if I were to have it done, they would need extra time on admission for the procedure, to which I responded that if it was up to me to talk to them beforehand, it would already be too late – he took my point, and said he’d put it in the notes and speak to them about it himself. He said different people had different ideas about risk, so opinions varied.

He said that a year on, my veins may have recovered sufficiently by now for the cannulae to work anyway, and was I prepared to try. Reluctantly I said perhaps I would, but I would still prefer the PICC, to be sure. I told him that my neuropathy and bladder problems had not improved at all in the last year, but he said that not all effects of chemo recover at the same rate, and veins recovered more quickly than nerves, so there was a chance that I’d be fine.

I’ll just have to wait and see what they decide, and if they prefer me to try the regular cannula first, I’ll go along with that – I have at least made my preference clear, and it’s up to them now. If the first cannula does fail, then I shall definitely request a PICC, and I am sure that at that stage, they will agree, but that will be after the operation.

My hubby chipped in that each time a cannula failed, I was not getting the pain relief, sometimes for several hours, and this was most unsatisfactory.

We discussed post-operative pain relief and he said he could see from last week’s appointment that I was happy to have the rectus sheath catheters and PCA (morphine pump) that I’d had before – he said that often the rectus sheath catheters were less satisfactory than an epidural, but I said I wasn’t too keen on this, but added that this was probably because I’d never had one and didn’t know what to expect, and that I had found the rectus sheath catheters helpful. He said as long as I was happy with what I’d had before, they’d go ahead on that basis, although I may not be able to have them if my surgeon thought they would interfere with the mesh he will be inserting during my hernia repair, so again, we shall have to wait and see.

I told him that last time, after my emergency surgery, I was in a lot more pain initially, and he agreed that was to be expected, given that I was already very poorly and not as well as possible like the first time, which was elective surgery. We also agreed that this was why last year’s experience was generally very much worse than before, and why it took me so much longer to recover. He asked how long I’d been in recovery that time, but I couldn’t remember – the first time, I spent the whole night there, and went onto the ward the following morning.

I asked that they would insert the NG tube while I was under the anaesthetic, because last year it was done while I was conscious and it was truly a horrible experience. He said that they are not inserting them as a matter of course now, and it may not be necessary for me to have one at all – it depends how much my bowel will be handled. Again, my surgeon will decide, but in any event, it would be inserted under anaesthetic; the reason for it being done while I was conscious last year was that it is the standard treatment for an obstruction, which I knew, and once it was in, it did make me feel a lot better and prevented any further sickness.

He told me to stop the Rivaroxaban (anti-coagulant) two days before the operation, which is more or less what I thought.

On the subject of the ward staff being aware of the limitations imposed by my ME, I explained the unpleasant experience I had after my first operation, and that obviously my concerns had not been passed on. He said it was in my notes, but because these are extensive, not everybody might see that, and also that nurses tended to be very much procedure- and routine-driven and perhaps not so easy to convince of individual special needs, although the nurse last week said that she hated “blanket rules” and everybody should be treated as an individual! He said I should mention this concern to everybody, to make them all aware, in case they had not been told, or had not seen my notes. My hubby confirmed my low energy levels, and how I can suddenly run out of energy and need to rest. I told the anaesthetist that anyway, at home, I spend much of my time with my legs up on the recliner as this is a lot more comfortable for me and less tiring, and sitting in this position in a hospital bed is really no different. I told him that I do try to keep my feet and legs moving, and that I am normally moving around the house quite a lot, and only use the wheelchair when out and about, but after an operation it is a different matter.

We agreed that major surgery really takes it out of even normal, healthy people, and that allowances should be made when one is starting with an already low base-line. I am hoping that after this discussion, I will be given more leeway and won’t get bossed about – I told him that on that first occasion I was already feeling very vulnerable immediately after major surgery, and didn’t feel up to having to fight my corner, and it upset me that it was necessary for me to do so.

He asked what were the main symptoms of my ME and how they affected my life, and I told him that it was mainly very low energy levels, and rapid muscle fatigability, balance problems, disrupted sleep due to my internal clock being out of sync, and brainfog.

I said that before, as a matter of course, I had been given an airflow mattress and foot pumps, and was keen to have these again, and he agreed with this. Having the foot pumps should certainly help prevent DVTs especially if I am less able to spend time out of bed, particularly initially.

He also raised the subject of the coronary artery spasm I had in 2014 and asked if I suffered any angina attacks, to which I replied that they were extremely rare. He asked what brought them on, and I said in each case it had been stress! I told him that the main cause of the stress had now been removed (Mum, before she went into a care home, and how difficult it had been for me in the run-up to my first operation) and that as far as my heart was concerned, I was really pretty well. They are obviously aware of this, though, and will take it into account, along with the left bundle branch block which they are also aware of. I told him I’d been under considerable stress recently, with my hubby breaking his leg and Mum dying, and so much more being put onto me, but that things were very much better now. Thankfully none of this brought on an angina attack.

That more or less covered our discussion. Everything else had really been covered last week, but I did feel it was beneficial to discuss these matters with an anaesthetist as I had done at the pre-assessment before my first operation. I didn’t have one before the second operation, of course, because that was an emergency.

I told him that I was very impressed with how thorough they were, checking all these things in the days leading up to surgery, and how much things had improved in the twenty-odd years since my hysterectomy, when more or less all they asked was if I’d had any previous operations and did I have any allergies! I said the pain management was so much better as to be almost unrecognisable compared with that time, and he agreed that great progress has been made in these matters.

We are still waiting for a date.

2014–What a Year

WOYWW visitors – please scroll down to the first post for today.

The second of three posts for today, and the first of two “update” posts – I realised there was going to be too much for a single post, because such a lot has gone on this year. I have therefore decided to devote this first one to personal and health issues and other miscellaneous things, and to make a new post about my creative endeavours during the year, of which there have been many!

I can’t believe it’s that time of year yet again when I look back on the months that have passed and take stock, and look forward, hopefully always with optimism, to the year ahead. This is the fifth annual review post I have made – have I really been blogging this long???

We have celebrated our first year living in our new house, and reaped the benefit of so many months of upheaval, anxiety, stress, joy and fun that took place during the previous year, during the renovations, and this year we have been able to enjoy to the full all the carefully planned alterations which have made life easier for everybody.

One of the things which has been the most fun was finally to be able to move into my beautiful new ARTHaven and get it up and running and planned exactly how I wanted, so that it at last became my favourite room in the house, where I can immerse myself in art and creativity and shed the stresses of the day, in an environment carefully designed and planned by me, and brought to fruition by our wonderful builders, to enable the creative process to take place with the minimum of difficulty.

Heath Issues

The year 2014 has been characterised by a series of health crises for us all – myself, my hubby and my mum, who lives in a flat occupying half the downstairs of the house. Just when we seemed to be entering a more stable period, something else happened, until I got to the stage when I wondered, “What next?” I know that compared with some people, our trials have been light, but nevertheless sometimes they have seemed hard to bear.

At the beginning of the year, now that we were really settled in, my hubby went up country to pick up my buggy (mobility scooter) which had belonged to my uncle, and this was installed in the garage with its own power supply, and enables me to trundle forth at the magnificent heartstopping rate of 4 mph to do my local errands – church, shopping, visiting etc. This is liberating!

In February I caught a nasty throat infection which left me coughing for months, and eventually in the summer I saw the doctor about it, and it became clear that the cough was a result of GORD (Gastro-oesophageal reflux disorder) and I was put on medication for this (Omeprazole) and referred to an ENT surgeon at the hospital for a proper examination, which revealed that there was still evidence of inflammation so I was put on revolting Gaviscon which is a sore trial to take!!

In the summer I also had problems with an extremely dry mouth, but after seeing another hospital consultant, a disease cause was ruled out, and we came to the conclusion that it was just another recurring M.E. symptom raising its ugly head again. I was given some good advice, though, about nasal decongestion which has helped a lot.

I suffered very badly this summer with swollen ankles and again sought medical advice. Several pieces of advice bore good fruit, and I also invested in a Circulation Booster which helped a lot. The cooler weather helped considerably, later on.

Since our return from holiday when I was shocked at how much weight I’d gained, I decided to embark on the famous 5:2 diet, and am happy to report that having hit another plateau recently, with my weight remaining constant for several weeks, I have lost a total of 2 stone 3 lb (31 lb) in six months. I have another 2 stone to lose until I am at the optimum weight for my height, but it is great knowing that I am now officially “overweight” and no longer “obese”!

In the summer also, I was diagnosed with mild anaemia, probably as a result of my ongoing ulcerative colitis, and have been on ferrous sulphate ever since, although now on a reduced dose, with my Hg levels being checked monthly.

In August I had my regular gastro-enterology appointment at the hospital to check on the state of my ulcerative colitis, and I have a colonoscopy coming up in January 2015 (something that has to happen every 2 years). He is pleased with my progress and how I am responding to the medication (Pentasa (mesazaline)).

However, my main health event of the year was a coronary artery spasm causing severe chest pain at the end of July, landing me in hospital for a couple of days. I’ve had no recurrence since, apart from a few periods of much less severe chest pain, all of which have been brought on by stress. I have a nitro-glycerine spray for such events. Coming out of hospital I became a soggy emotional heap, and when that passed, I moved into a period of several months’ mild depression, feeling generally “out of sorts” with myself, which is apparently a very common reaction to any cardiac event.

My M.E. continues much the same. The condition appears to have “bottomed out” and while I am not improving, neither am I continuing to go downhill as I did at the beginning. I have many days when I am pretty well unable to function and need to rest, which can be frustrating at times, but there’s nothing to be done about it and one just has to go with the flow and try and be as sensible as possible. Having a new adjustable bed is giving me more comfort and better nights and I no longer hanker after my wonderful hospital bed that I wanted to take home with me! This is also helping a lot with the reflux. Life is certainly easier with the renovations we had done in the house to suit my needs and also that my hubby isn’t having to run around after me quite so much as in the past.

A few weeks ago my hubby had an accident on his motorcycle and broke his wrist. He was in plaster for several weeks, and is now wearing a wrist splint after the latest X-ray revealed that the bone had knit. He will have another X-ray in a couple of weeks’ time and hopefully then will be back to normal. It feels painful now the rigid support of the cast is gone, and it will take time for it to regain its full strength. The worst part of it from our point of view was that he was not allowed to drive with a cast, and with all the running around he has to do on our behalf, this added to the already considerable inconvenience for him.

Mum’s health has presented us with several crises this year – firstly the common occurrence of minor injuries to her paper-thin skin necessitating hospital visits and the regular and frequent re-application of dressings. She is now very deaf and also needs her ears syringing regularly. She has also started suffering a series of TIAs (mini-strokes) and has been diagnosed with AF (atrial fibrillation) and is now on warfarin, which necessitates weekly visits to the surgery for her blood to be tested to determine the dose. Her short term memory is poor, and since her most recent bout of TIAs she has become more difficult, which is stressful for me, and my dear hubby is trying to shield me as much as possible, by taking on most of the contacts with her. We both experience ongoing low-level stress, interspersed by the high-octane version brought on by frequent confrontations with Mum on various issues. How true it is that whatever one’s personality, this tends to be exaggerated in old age.

It wasn’t just us humans in the family who had health issues this year. Our senior kitty, Beatrice (aged 14), after being registered with our new vet, had four teeth extracted, and was discovered to have a growth in the back of her neck that had to be removed, which proved to be quite major surgery, but was fortunately proved to be non-malignant. In order to protect the wound, she wore a premature babygro!

Then followed a series of urinary tract infections which have become ever more frequent so that she is more or less constantly on antibiotics now, but keeping pretty well, and with a good appetite. She is too thin, and with her delicate stomach has to be on a prescription diet, and requires frequent small meals in order to prevent vomiting. She continues to be a great character and much loved by us all, and she and “Granny” have developed a strong mutual affection and she enjoys spending time with Mum in her flat. The vet, “Uncle Luke,” is extremely fond of her, and everyone down at the vets’ has a huge soft spot for this very unusual kitty who is bursting with character and a bit too intelligent for her own good sometimes!!

All these health pressures have definitely been helped by having my hair permed again in the summer! Luuurve the curls. Thank goodness for good hair days, fragrant baths, kitties, art, and my wonderful hubby.

Technology

I was devastated this year that my faithful old sewing machine (21st birthday present) bit the dust, but delighted to get a new Brother machine, which, as things have turned out, I haven’t had a lot of time to get up and running – just a few boring household jobs to be done, and I still have to look up in the book how to thread it!!

At the beginning of the year I invested in an iMac and after an initial trial period trying to run both the Mac OS and Windows on it via a system called Parallels, eventually came to the conclusion that Windows didn’t work well enough on this for me, and I would continue with my two (now fairly elderly but excellent) laptops for Windows, and use the Mac pretty well exclusively for video. I had a brief experience with an upgrade to the latest version of Pinnacle video editing software on Windows but as with earlier versions, was frustrated by its instability, and decided to bite the bullet and move to Final Cut Pro for Mac which has proved to be a very successful move indeed. With my new video camera setup I can now produce good quality HD videos and the program is a total dream to operate – makes me wonder why I didn’t stop messing about years ago and spend the money and get serious – I’d have saved a great deal in the long run! I have not had as much time to create videos this year as I would have liked – it is a highly time-consuming process but also very creative and enjoyable.

The House

Finishing touches to the renovations included the installation of solar panels in the summer. We had been at a bit of a loss to know which company to approach, but our visit to the County Show was very fruitful, as we were able to speak one-to-one with several companies and come home armed with fliers. It was not hard to make our final choice, and the work went ahead very smoothly.

Personal

The major event of this year was my hubby’s retirement in the summer. He continues to be quite overwhelmed by the tremendous send-off he received, and all the gifts, cards, letters, emails etc. etc. I was a bit worried that he might feel the loss of role quite badly but he has had an incredibly busy time since, being carer for both Mum and myself, and various other commitments, but I am glad that he has been able to fit in quite a few days out doing the things he enjoys the most, and spending time with his friends. In the summer, for the first time he was able to volunteer on the local annual archaeological dig on a full-time basis. Knowing how precious these times are for him, I guard them jealously and try not to add to his commitments by asking that he drive me to things that aren’t strictly necessary, but we have had some nice outings together, and had a wonderful holiday (our first for 4 years) in the summer, coinciding with my school reunion, and the opportunity to immerse myself in some fabulous art. Our major and best day outing was to Bristol to view the Kaffe Fassett exhibition (click on the link at the top of my sidebar for pictures).

Since moving here, I have found an excellent church to join, and was admitted to full membership in the summer. I am thrilled that is is right on the doorstep and takes only a few minutes on the buggy to get there. I have made new friends there and the quality of worship and teaching is excellent.

Health Update–September 2014

Following my last health update, I have been taking the Omeprazole for some time now, and it definitely seems to be helping with the reflux, although I am still aware of something at the back of my throat. I am not coughing as much, and haven’t been disturbed at night by acid in my throat, but the GP said I should definitely see the ENT surgeon just to make sure everything was OK.

I had my hospital appointment today, and after a brief consultation he shone a light in my mouth, and palpated my neck. I thought that was going to be it, but no… he then sprayed some local anaesthetic up my nostril and proceeded to poke a light up my nose!! It was very small, on the end of a flexible tube, but despite the local anaesthetic, it felt like a lamp-post! It was pretty unpleasant. My nasal passages are apparently very narrow (which would explain why my nose is so often blocked). He said he needed to examine my vocal cords and the back of my throat in general, and said that there was still evidence of reflux there.

He prescribed Gaviscon Advance for six weeks, and said to continue with the Omeprazole, and then see my GP. The Gaviscon puts a blanket layer over the top of the stomach contents, and along with the acid-reducing Omeprazole, this should sort the problem. He also recommended propping the head of the bed up on bricks to elevate my upper body so my hubby is going to sort that – although what it will look like I don’t know – it’s a four-poster and might look like a ship on the high seas!

I saw the gastroenterologist a few weeks ago about my ulcerative colitis, and he continues to be pleased with my condition, which is responding well to the Pentasa medication. I had thought that my next colonoscopy wouldn’t be until August 2015 (two years after my first one) but he wants me to have it in February, which will be something nice to look forward to after Christmas (not…)!

Following a recent blood test, I have been told I am still mildly anaemic, so continuing with the iron for another few weeks. I am probably bleeding from the bowel although I’m not aware of it, but it could be enough to lower my haemoglobin sufficiently to need medication.

I bought a circulation booster from Ebay and it really helped with the swollen ankles. Now the weather has cooled off, the problem really isn’t so bad, and I have stopped using the machine for now, but it’s there if I need it.

Since my recent heart attack, I haven’t really been feeling myself – not exactly depressed, but feeling under the weather and a bit down, and rather unsettled. This is very unlike me because I’m usually very upbeat and bubbly. My creative mojo seems to have departed a bit recently, too. I had put it down to the constant low-level stress I suffer from with Mum in the house, but the other day I thought to myself that whenever I’ve had a day feeling like this, after a good night’s sleep the feeling generally disappears, but recently this has not happened. I mentioned it to my hubby at this point, and he said he wished I’d said something before, because he knows that it is very common indeed for people to get depression after a heart attack. I had no idea, but since then have spoken to several people who have experienced it. My hubby told me to Google it, and 18,900,000 search results appeared!!! He said, “Well, get reading then…” and I said if I read all that lot I’d be severely depressed by the end, not to mention still being at it well into the New Year!! It made me feel a lot better knowing that this was quite normal, and although I felt very down a couple of days ago, I’m feeling very much better again today.

I think I have to accept that it’s going to take time, and that my whole system suffered more of a shock than I was aware of. The most important thing is not to worry, and to know that it will pass. I don’t feel it’s bad enough to approach the doctor with.

My M.E. is ongoing, of course, and fluctuates from day to day, but there’s nothing new to report there, except to say that the dry mouth problem was probably a recurrence of this very common M.E. symptom, which has now gone into abeyance again. I have been continuing with the Sterimar routine before bed, and making sure my nose is as clear as possible before I go to sleep, and this is helping.

Ending on a cheerful note, I have been doing the 5:2, or “Fast” diet since our return from holiday towards the end of June, and am happy to report that this is the most brilliant diet I’ve ever been on. Because you reduce your calorie intake on only two days a week, and eat normally for the rest of the week, it is sustainable. Having to watch one’s diet every day, and deprive oneself of all the things one enjoys, soon becomes very tedious, and this is why so many people give up, especially when the weight loss tends to plateau, sometimes for several weeks.

I have had a three or four week plateau when I lost no weight, but I’ve stuck with it, and over the past couple of weeks, the weight loss has started again, resulting in a further half-stone coming off! I have now lost a total of 1 1/2 stone since June, and I am highly delighted. It doesn’t seem to be showing much – at least, not where I want it to (my stomach and bum) but one or two people have asked me if I’ve lost weight as it’s showing round my face, apparently!

So, generally speaking, I am pleased with how things are going. I am hoping that will be the last of the hospital visits for the rest of this year, at least for myself!

Mum, on the other hand, seems to be constantly going to the hospital or GP surgery these days. She had a TIA (transient ischaemic attack, or mini-stroke) a little while ago and has been undergoing tests since then, resulting in a diagnosis of atrial fibrillation (AF) and she is now on Warfarin, necessitating a weekly blood test until they stabilise the dose. Her blood pressure continues to be very high, and she is therefore at increased risk of another TIA or more serious stroke. She has bashed her leg again… and a few weeks ago, Phoebe, one of our kitties, scratched her arm, both of which needed an A&E visit and dressings which required changing – each time she has such an injury to her paper-thin skin, she digs her heels in and refuses point-blank to go to the hospital and we have to go through the whole process every time, of my hubby getting really stroppy with her and bullying her into submission! She never learns… she has no idea how serious such things can be at her age (93), and how they could easily get infected and lead to ulceration and worse. Oh well, my sister can deal with it for 10 days – we are currently enjoying a lovely break! After everything that’s happened recently, I think we deserve it – my hubby especially, as he is the one who has to drive her, and pick up all the prescriptions, etc.

Home Again–and WOYWW 269

Because of the events of recent days, I haven’t been in my ARTHaven since Saturday, but here is what it looked like then – this is a collection of materials used for my latest project, arranged for a photo for my blog post on the subject.

For those of you who don’t visit my blog apart from WOYWW, in the small hours of Sunday morning I experienced severe chest pain and was admitted to hospital at about 7 a.m. that morning. I was told that my blood results indicated that I had had a heart attack, although my ECG was ambiguous because of an existing heart condition (left bundle branch block) which has its own distinctive trace which can mask any other abnormality. I was booked in for an angiogram which unfortunately did not take place on Monday, despite my being deprived of lunch, but which happened yesterday. It revealed no permanent damage to my heart so I have been taken off the clopidogrel and was sent home. I have apparently suffered from what was described as a “minor cardiac event” – probably a spasm of the arteries surrounding the heart, and have been given a glyceryl trinitrate spray to keep with me at all times, to spray under my tongue should the chest pain return, and if it doesn’t work, to call an ambulance immediately and return to hospital for further investigations.

This is very good news, of course, but it’s been a wake-up call and made me aware that this could happen again.

I am now suffering an emotional reaction to what has happened and not doing too well, but no doubt in a day or two I shall be myself again.

Home from Hospital

Yesterday afternoon I finally had my cardiac catheterisation (angiogram), which had been put off the day before because there was no time. As a result, on both Monday and Tuesday I was deprived of my lunch!

I was told that the procedure was a lot less invasive and unpleasant than a colonoscopy (which I have to have every two years because of my ulcerative colitis) but my own experience belied this statement. The whole procedure was unpleasant in the extreme – although I hasten to add, for the reassurance of anyone reading this who might be facing the same procedure – that it is not the same for everyone, and for most people it is fairly routine and not too uncomfortable.

Even with a sedative I was fully aware of what was happening and the insertion of the sheath into my right radial artery was painful and unpleasant, despite the previous administration of a local anaesthetic. The passage of the catheter through the artery to my heart was not unpleasant, but when the contrast medium was injected, I felt the expected flushing sensation, and the feeling that one was passing water, which was very peculiar. This X-ray-opaque dye reveals the blood vessels surrounding the heart, and any narrowing or blockage is visible, and where it is present, it is expanded by a small balloon, possibly with the addition of a stent, which is a small rigid mesh tube to keep the artery open (angioplasty). I had a bit of a reaction to the contrast medium and developed a severe headache, and the outer quadrant of my left thigh, in which I have suffered intermittent tingling and numbness since the onset of my M.E., became very painful with a burning sensation and extreme pins and needles, which took several hours to pass off.

Coming out from the procedure, I felt very poorly indeed, and I think this is probably as a result of having M.E., which makes me feel generally unwell anyway, and having all this laid on top just made it all feel a lot worse! As the effects of the sedative and contrast medium gradually wore off, I started to feel a lot better.

Unlike the atmosphere in the room where I had my colonoscopy, the room where this procedure took place was hardly conducive to calmness – there were lots of people bustling around, calling out instructions to each other, equipment being moved, hard surfaces reflecting a lot of noise, etc. Even though I was not at that time worried about what was happening, it did nothing to help me to remain calm!

My right wrist was extremely painful where the sheath was inserted. After it was removed, they attached a clever clear plastic cuff to my wrist with an expandable chamber filled with air which compressed the artery at the sight of the wound to prevent bleeding, and over the next hour or so, they gradually removed a couple of ml of this air by means of a syringe, reducing the pressure until it was safe to remove the cuff completely. It now has a dressing on it, with a tight self-adhesive bandage around it, which I am told I can remove today, but for the next week I have to be very careful with this arm, and not get the site wet, or too hot – so no washing up, and no bathing, and no heavy lifting, until the wound has had a chance to heal. I have to keep an eye on it to make sure that no haematoma or infection develops, and I must return to the hospital or go to my GP’s surgery straight away if this should occur.

The angiogram revealed no abnormalities in my cardiac vessels, and no permanent damage from the attack, so I was taken off the clopidogrel and told that I could go home. I have been issued with a glyceryl trinitrate spray to use under my tongue should the pain recur, and if this does not work, I am to call an ambulance and return to hospital immediately. Because of an abnormal blood result (raised cardiac troponins – enzymes in the bloodstream which can indicate damage as a result of myocardial infarction), it is clear that I have had some kind of cardiac event, and the chest pain was not a result of reflux or other gastro-intestinal cause, but the fact that there is no permanent damage to the heart, or narrowing of the surrounding blood vessels, is good news.

When the nurse on the ward was giving me my discharge documents and instructions for the next few days, I suddenly became very weepy and felt extremely vulnerable and fragile, which was a bit of a shock, because this is quite unlike me – the news is good, and I was going home. I think it is just a reaction to everything that has happened over the past few days, during which I have remained strong, cheerful and optimistic, but a combination of the event itself, the change of routine, lack of sleep, odd meal times, the injections, insertion of the cannula, taking of blood, ECGs, blood pressure monitoring, and finally the most unpleasant experience of the cardiac catheterisation, have all taken their toll and it all swept over me in a flood.

This feeling continued all evening, and I am still feeling the same this morning. I am quite sure that in the next couple of days I shall be myself again, but in the meantime I am going to rest quietly and try to recover myself.

Heart Attack

On Saturday 26th July, I was up very late (I keep pretty late hours because my M.E. has altered my internal time-clock) working on the videos about my “Bejewelled” card (see previous post). It was 3.30 a.m. and I thought I really should go to bed, despite being wide awake, if I was going to be up in time for church in the morning.

As I packed up my things and made ready for bed, I started to get a pain in the centre of my chest. We’d been out for lunch with Mum and I’d eaten quite a lot, and hadn’t felt at all hungry until about midnight, when I thought it was a bit late to start eating, and I thought it might be a sort of hunger-induced indigestion (when you get past hunger and don’t want anything) but it was quite bad, and I was in two minds about waking my hubby.

I decided to go to bed and hope it would pass off. I hardly slept at all, and had to get up at one point because of feeling extremely nauseous, although nothing came of that. The pain advanced up into my neck and lower jaw until all my bottom teeth were aching, and down my arms, where the pain was less severe, except for my left wrist which was very painful.

I stuck it out till 6 a.m. and then thought I really should wake my hubby, and he immediately called the doctor, who said an ambulance must be called right away. I was still in two minds about the whole thing, half of me thinking I was making a huge fuss about nothing, and wasting everybody’s time, and taking the ambulance service away from a genuine emergency, but they all said I’d done the right thing and mustn’t think that way.

During the day I was shunted from pillar to post, from A&E to the A&E admissions ward, and ultimately to the Chest Pain Unit (attached to Cardiac Care) where I am now. During this time I have been punctured and prodded, wired up and X-rayed, and seen by a variety of people, and told I had to stay in.

By the time I arrived at hospital the pain was quite a bit less but I was given some morphine via the cannula in my wrist, which helped a bit.

After two lots of bloods were taken, I saw the consultant this morning, who told me I’d definitely had a heart attack, and he was booking me in for a cardiac angiogram, possibly this afternoon, but in the end there wasn’t time to fit me in, so I’m due for it tomorrow afternoon, after which I will have to stay in another night, and depending on the result, I may be allowed home the following day. I may have to have a stent fitted.

I am now on two additional medications (in addition to a couple of injections) – aspirin and clopidogrel (a blood-thinning agent), so I am positively rattling!

At this moment I am feeling a lot better, and am comfortable in the most amazing bed with a magic remote control that can put me in any position – it’s so comfy that I said I wanted to take it with me when I go home! The nurse told me they have just got 300 new ones, and I said I was sure they wouldn’t miss one? I have been sleeping a good deal of the time, because of hardly getting any sleep at all on Saturday night, and feeling generally exhausted as a result of the whole experience. It is not that quiet at night in here, either, which doesn’t help, but I am putting my iPod earbuds in my ears which act as very effective earplugs.

My hubby has been popping in regularly, and brought my laptop this evening (hence this post), and brought Mum for a brief visit this evening. The minister from church visited earlier, which was a lovely surprise, and he prayed with me and we had a nice chat.

The staff here are amazing, as always – it’s funny to think I am in the same ward Dad was in briefly – he was only in for two or three days with his heart failure, back in the autumn of last year, but several of the remember him, which is really lovely. This hospital is a special place for me because it’s where my dad died, and I don’t feel at all negative about that, but especially close to him and full of good feelings about the wonderful way the staff treated him, and us, especially on the night of his death.

I am in a bay in the ward with only 2 beds and my “room mate” is a delightful Scottish lady of 93. We are getting on famously. My hubby brought some strawberries in this evening, which we are sharing.

It seems to be one thing after another with me these days – first the M.E., then ulcerative colitis being diagnosed last year, then my reflux problem and various other niggles, and now this… Still, I am a lot better than many and I continue to count my blessings daily.

Hope to be back home really soon, and with the medication, and the medics keeping an eye on me, I should be fine – there is no reason to think this experience will be repeated as long as I continue to follow their excellent instructions and “keep taking the tablets”!