Various Updates

Kitties

Since losing Phoebe on Wednesday, Beatrice has been very subdued and is obviously missing her. She spent the first day looking for her in the garden and wouldn’t come in, and since then, she’s been sleeping in Phoebe’s favourite place under the hedge in the corner of the lawn, somewhere she never went before. It’s as if she’s hoping she’ll come back to claim it. Today she seems a bit better and has accepted cuddles from us, but she wasn’t so keen yesterday. We are trying to give her as much love, attention and reassurance as we can at the moment, until she gets used to the idea that Phoebe has gone and isn’t coming back. Seeing her obviously grieving is quite distressing – we are both missing her so much, too.

Oncology Appointment

On Thursday morning I had my six-monthly oncology check-up appointment. I saw a different consultant this time, who said she was helping my regular one at the moment – she was called Dr. Medley and she was very charming and pleasant. My bloods are good, with no cancer markers. I asked her if they had the results of my recent CT scan yet, and she said they did, and that it didn’t reveal a hernia as such, but that there was a little gap and some fat had come through (nice!) but no gut. She will be setting up another appointment for me to see Mr. Pullan, my surgeon, so that we can discuss pros and cons, and risks involved in either having further surgery or not. Now I have got the support garments, he may feel it would be better just to leave it. I certainly don’t want another obstruction, and I’d rather have planned surgery rather than another emergency operation.

She also said that the recent CT scan showed no cancer, but of course it was only of my abdomen, and they would have preferred it to be of my whole trunk, because metastases from bowel cancer are usually in the liver or lung, so she is going to book me in for another scan, which will probably take place in a couple of months’ time.

I have got to go back in 6 months, and the appointment is on 30th November, exactly 2 years on from when I was given the all clear. After this, all continuing to be well, they won’t want to see me for a year. I really do believe they got it all out, and the chemo put paid to anything else that might have been lurking around.

Diet

It is now nearly 3 years since I started my 5:2 diet, also known as the Fast Diet. This diet has really worked for me, because for most of the time you eat normally, and only restrict your intake to a maximum of 500 calories on 2 days of the week. This means that it is easy to stick to, because anyone can cope with 2 days – it’s the diets where you are constantly restricting yourself and never having any treats, that you get bored with and give up, and the weight piles back on again. With a little help from 2 major operations and hospital stays, and despite being stuffed with mammoth portions by my hubby while he was looking after me (haha!), during that time I have lost nearly 4 stone. I need to lose just over half a stone more, in order to reach my target weight, and after that I shall continue monitoring it, and having a fast day maybe once or twice a week as necessary in order to maintain a constant weight.

People are now constantly noticing that I’ve lost weight. I am now able to get into clothes that I haven’t worn for years, which I couldn’t bear to part with because I liked them! It’s like having a new wardrobe again. I feel very much better for having lost the weight, not just physically, but emotionally too – having a sense of achievement is a very positive thing.

This is me, taken in the summer of 2013. I think I probably gained some more weight after this, and after our holiday in 2014 I was shocked how much I weighed, which is when I started the diet.

Latest selfie.

A definite improvement I think! Unfortunately I shall probably never have a flat stomach again – after three major abdominal operations over the past 20 years (2 in the last 2 years) the muscle tone is pretty much gone! Having the support garments to prevent the return of my parastomal hernia probably help, though.

Kitchen

The carpenter came round on Wednesday evening as arranged, and had a good look, and saw my sketch, and got a good idea of what I wanted. He was pleased that I still had the original Howden’s computer designs for the kitchen on my computer, and I was able to tell him the name of the design, which they have unfortunately discontinued from their catalogue, but he said he could probably source some old stock to make up the doors for my new pantry. If not, we agreed that it would be better to use something completely different rather than something similar but not exactly the same. After all, the original cupboard had white panelled doors, and we could do likewise with the new ones.

He said it would be no problem at all to get a bit more of the laminate flooring, which is still in Howden’s catalogue, and that he would be able to fit that. He will also add a new skirting board inside the cupboard, to match the rest of the kitchen.

He isn’t quite certain how to deal with the top part yet but he will be giving it some thought.

When I suggested adjustable height shelves, he said there wasn’t often much point, because one never adjusted them! However, he took the point that until I start using the pantry, I shan’t know exactly how high I want them, and it would be frustrating if I couldn’t get certain things in where I wanted them. I said that if they were only adjusted once, it was still worth it! I said that I wanted a stone slab, and this, and the shelf level with it to the side, would obviously have to be fixed in order to support the weight, but the others could be mounted on tracks with brackets and it wouldn’t be a problem. He suggested making each back shelf and its corresponding side shelf as one, so that it would be easier to adjust them together, and it would also make them stronger.

Regarding the doors, he agreed that the wall-mounted unit on the wall to the right is a bit of a problem, and I said I definitely didn’t want to lose that, as it held the glasses and all my recipe books. He thought that rather than having bi-fold doors, it might be better to have a single door, slightly narrower than the opening, and have a narrow panel to the right, behind the wall-mounted cupboard. He said he could install small shelves on the inside of this which would give me a bit more storage space, too. He thought that mounting my spice rack and other compact things on the right-hand wall inside the pantry was a good idea. The shelves at the back of the pantry, above and below the stone slab, will be deeper than the ones at the side, but they won’t be as deep as they were in the original cupboard, which was hopeless because I could never get at the stuff at the back.

It is all coming together now, and I think I am going to end up with a brilliant space which is going to be usable, convenient, and fun. Bringing the front up to the level of the front of the oven is going to give me double the depth I had before, but with narrow shelves along the left-hand wall from top to bottom, as well as better shelves at the back, will give me more storage space than I had before, which will also be a lot more accessible. As it was, the space in front of the old cupboard was dead space, and this is now going to be used.

Consulting his diary, he thought he should be able to start in the middle of next month, which is only about 3 weeks away, which is very good news. I thought I might have to wait for months until he was free! He’s got a kitchen to fit after that, but doesn’t think my job will take more than a few days (worst case scenario a week, but he thinks that is highly unlikely) – he says it’s a fairly fiddly job but it certainly shouldn’t take too long. So hopefully it will be in before the end of June!

I am really looking forward to moving all my stuff back from the flat kitchen, and sorting my new pantry, and organising the storage of the food. Once this is done, I will be able to start using my lovely kitchen again. The flat kitchen is fine, but it is very small, so I can’t do anything very ambitious in there. We are very grateful for it, though, because most people whose kitchens are out of order have to resort to camping stoves, and washing up in the bath!!

WOYWW 339

Well, I haven’t been around much lately, I know. There’s been a lot going on in my life and I’m pretty exhausted, and my creative mojo has fled again for the second time this year… My poor ARTHaven has become the dumping ground it always is when I am not using it, so I thought as a reintroduction to joining the human race again, I would show you just how awful it is, and how little creativity has been going on of late! So here’s the guided tour of Shoshi’s Dumping Ground.

First stop, under the window.

The box with the transparent lid contains the finished cards from my card factory (to which I must return asap!). You an also see my camera case, the purple box that belongs to my lovely cleaning lady – she wants me to alter it for her. Beyond that is a pile of fabric scraps and bits and pieces given to me recently by a lady from church, and under the window, my packing foam pieces that I was making into heat-set rubber stamps, and a pile of dried teabags!

Moving over to the opposite side of the room, this is supposed to be my textile zone and drawing zone, but as you can see, it’s just got stuff dumped on it.

The saddest sight is my main work area. On the desk itself is a collection of dried leaves I picked up outside the hospital a few weeks ago, thinking I would do something with them but now I can’t think what to do with them.

You can see that the dowel that supported my bags of rubber stamps has broken and collapsed. This happened two or three weeks ago and I haven’t had the energy or the enthusiasm to do anything about it. My hubby, bless him, got me a metal rod to replace the dowel, and you can see that on the desk, waiting to be installed.

Here’s a close-up of the wreckage.

How sad is that. It says it all about the state of my creative mojo at the moment!

However, to happier things. I saw the oncologist yesterday and we got the result of my recent post-chemo CT scan, and it is clear, so I have been pronounced cancer free! This is of course very good news, but I am having some problems processing it at the moment as I need a huge mental adjustment to transfer from being a patient (VIP, receiving incredible care and support, all given with kindness and even love, and feeling affirmed and very special) to being a normal person again (ordinary)! I am also wrestling with some feelings of survivor’s guilt, having met some truly amazing and wonderful people on the chemo unit whose stories are working towards an end very different from my story, and whose indomitable spirit and cheerfulness never cease to amaze me – I find myself asking myself “Why me, and not them?” Fruitless question, I know, because cancer is no respecter of persons and the whole thing is a huge lottery with no rhyme nor reason to it. I know I shall move on from this rather complex response to what I know is brilliant news for us, but at the moment I can’t match my hubby’s simple and honest and uncomplicated response of utter joy and relief! I am also wrestling with the fact that my response is a total surprise to me, as I was anticipating feeling the same uncomplicated joy as my hubby.

I have been through a lot over the whole of this year and a couple of weeks ago had an investigation under general anaesthetic which knocked me back somewhat, and I’ve been a bit low in spirits – I think it’s all a reaction to what has been a complete rollercoaster of a year emotionally and physically. I will get there in the end, but for now I need a period of readjustment to my new status as Cancer Survivor and Ordinary Person lol!

I am not feeling brilliant physically either, because I am plagued with peripheral neuropathy as a result of the chemo – this is not the transient, acute version one gets after each treatment, which diminishes towards the end of each cycle, but the persistent, chronic version which is different, and quite intense. I have also developed a couple of rare neurological effects which may or may not have developed because of my existing neurological condition (M.E.). There is no guarantee that I shall fall into the percentage of people whose post-chemo peripheral neuropathy eventually clears up, or whether I shall be part of the significant percentage for whom this is a permanent legacy. Either way, it is a small price to pay for a cancer-free life, and if it does end up being permanent, it will serve as a constant reminder, along with Kermit, my stoma, of what I have been through in order to become a cancer survivor, and I shall be glad of that, because I never want to forget, and I never want to take what I have for granted, and I always want to be reminded to count my blessings daily.

Completion of Florabunda Alphabet

Last night I finally completed the Florabunda alphabet I’ve been working on, with the letters K to Z, so I can now make personalised cards for all my friends, even those whose names begin with X lol!

Here is the complete set.

Health Update

At long last I am starting to feel better! The final chemo just over three weeks ago certainly made its presence felt and the effects went on well into week 3 of the cycle, which was unusual because with previous treatments, by week 3 I was always feeling a lot better. It was doubly surprising that it went on so long, because the final treatment, like the penultimate one, was at a reduced dose. I am still getting peripheral neuropathy, mostly in my feet now, which is strange because I’ve had more trouble with it in my hands previously – it seems to be there a lot of the time, giving me feelings of numbness and pins and needles, particularly in my toes, and it seems unrelated to cold, too. I shall mention this to the oncologist when I next see her.

I have now started to pick up the threads of my life again, doing some domestic tasks. It may sound funny, but I am so enjoying this! It is making me feel a lot more human again, and in control of my life. My hubby has been so wonderful looking after me all this time but I really feel it’s high time I took back a lot of what he’s been doing, and started looking after him again after so many months.

Here are the “firsts” in getting my life back again!

Thursday: I did my first batch of laundry. Since going into hospital, my lovely cleaning lady has been doing this for me, apart from the odd bit of hand washing that I’ve managed to keep up with.

Friday: First lot of ironing.

Saturday: I got up and got my own breakfast for the first time. Since my operation, my hubby has been bringing me breakfast in bed. First washing up – I did the breakfast things! A gentle introduction. I also finished the ironing. I sorted the larder cupboards in the kitchen and made a list of what we’ve got, and what we need. I started making my first shopping list for the online order I shall be doing in the coming week.

Sunday: I went to church for the first time since May, when I had recovered sufficiently from my operation, just before I started my chemo. I was quite overwhelmed by the lovely welcome I received – everybody was surprised and delighted to see me back and I got a LOT of hugs! Everyone said how well I was looking. I would have easily forgiven them for forgetting me altogether, it’s been so long since I showed my face in the place! I washed up the evening meal dishes. Soon I will be cooking the evening meal, too!

Monday (today): I sorted the freezer and defrosted it. Much as I hate having to throw food away, I did have to throw away a bit, because it was too old. Once I’m back in the driving seat as far as the cooking and shopping are concerned, I shall have a proper idea of what we’ve got, and what needs eating first, etc. etc. and this won’t happen again. I have also re-started my diet – I am on the 5:2 diet, where you restrict your diet to a maximum of 500 cals for two days of the week and eat normally for the other five. I had to abandon this, on the advice of my surgeon, in advance of my operation, in order to keep my strength up and allow my body to recover. Although I have gained some weight during this time, I have managed to keep it on a more or less even keel, which I am pleased about, but now it is time to resume the downward trend and hopefully to reach my target weight by next summer.

During the coming week, I’ve got the fridge to sort and clean out, and the small freezer (part of the fridge-freezer in the kitchen). I also need to clean the hob and possibly the oven but I may ask my cleaning lady to do the latter lol!! There’s a box of food out on the counter where my hubby has been putting his food shopping for easy access for his cooking, and this needs sorting and the stuff putting away, and then I can clean that counter, including all the crumbs from the toaster! Tomorrow morning I shall finalise my online shopping list and then do the order in the afternoon, and request the delivery for Wednesday, as I used to do before. I am hoping to cook the first evening meal on Wednesday.

I am also trying to be good, and going to bed earlier than I am used to, so that I can get up earlier. The trouble is, my M.E. messes with my internal clock, and I tend to be mentally alert in the small hours, and do not feel at all ready to go up at midnight! I am trying to go up to bed at 12.20 a.m. at the latest. Since I have been doing this, I have not been sleeping well (waking frequently) which is what always happens if I go up before I feel ready, but this time I am determined to try and educate my body and put up with the wakefulness until it settles down into a new routine.

This whole cancer journey has brought me to a new start in my life, and I am determined to set up good habits from now on. I seem to be at my best for doing things in the mornings, so I am putting my feet up in the afternoons and evenings and not overdoing things. I have been needing a sleep in the afternoons but this may not last forever as I gradually recover my strength.

I am also hoping to be able to start spending some quality time in the studio doing art and being creative! Initially a lot of my energy will be taken up just getting things straight in the house again, but once this settles down and I’m properly into a routine, I am looking forward to spending time up there, probably mostly in the mornings, depending on how my energy levels pick up.

Some More Florabunda Alphabet Letters

Yesterday I drew some more Florabunda alphabet letters, and have now done F to J. I noticed that the first few looked a bit sparse compared with later ones, so I added some more flowers to the backgrounds and re-scanned them, so they are now more of a piece.

Only 16 more to do and the alphabet will be complete! Here’s how it looks so far.

These will be nice to use on personalised cards, and now that they are scanned in, I can make them whatever size I want. I can also colour them if I want, but so far I quite like them in black and white.

Yesterday I made a leaflet which I want to show to the organisers of the cancer information centre at the hospital when I next visit. I am hoping they will allow me to run an informal group of say half a dozen people, so that I can teach them the basics of the Zentangle method of drawing. I do not profess to be a teacher and am not a Certified Zentangle Teacher (CZT) but in a small way, I think I could share what I know, and get people started on what is a most relaxing and fulfilling activity, which is very de-stressing, and could really help people to deal with their cancer/chemo a little better. I do hope they will agree to let me do this!

If they give me the go-ahead, I can adapt this leaflet and make it into a poster, with their contact number and details on it.

Health Update

I am now well into my second week of my final chemo cycle, and have been feeling pretty terrible for the past two or three days. This happened last time too, on the reduced dose – I thought I was getting away with it because I felt so good in week 1 compared with other cycles, and then it hit me big time in week 2! This time, it’s worse, and I’ve had symptoms I haven’t had since earlier on in my treatment – I felt a bit nauseous this morning but fortunately that passed before lunch because I took my pre-lunch anti-sickness meds. Also, the peripheral neuropathy was quite troublesome this morning, and again my hands seemed to seize up, but these symptoms are transitory, thank goodness. I suppose that I should expect this, because even with the reduced dose, the effects are cumulative. I’ve felt extremely wiped out again, not helped by the fact that for the past few nights I have slept very badly, and I had a sleep this afternoon. I’ve felt very weak and wobbly, and my balance is much worse than usual so I am having to be careful moving around the house. I am using my trolley rather than my crutches and that does help.

I know that this will pass, and that by the end of this week I should be feeling a lot better again! Knowing that feeling better is no longer a prelude to being cast down to the bottom again by another treatment is having a huge psychological benefit, and I can put up with anything in the knowledge that this is temporary, and that I am now at the beginning of the road back to being my “normal” self again!

A Brief Visit to Babbacombe

After my final chemo yesterday, I wasn’t feeling at all bad today, and well up to a short outing this afternoon. We had arranged to take our neighbour out for a little run as she needs a lot of cheering up at the moment, so we went back to Babbacombe sea front and had a wander up and down looking at the sea, and then we went for a coffee. Again, I used my new small buggy and it was a doddle trundling about, and it is small enough to go in the cafe too. All very satisfactory – so lovely to be able to get it in the car, so we can go further afield and we have a real sense of freedom.

I love the sea in all its moods. Whenever we visit, it never looks the same. Today, being a slightly cloudy day, the sea was an azure grey. I hope I have managed to capture the subtle colours – I had to do a bit of editing in my photo editing software (Serif PhotoPlus) to get back a little of the blueness and I think I got it as I remember it. I am getting a bit more confident using the camera on my phone now, and had little difficulty in transferring the photos to the laptop this evening – after all the hassle I had yesterday!!

In the first picture, you can see that there has been further landslip from the cliff that collapsed so disastrously a couple of years ago in the winter storms, taking a house with it. There is some fresh red sandstone colouring the slide which my hubby pointed out to us.

The azure sea!

Looking back to the buildings on the sea front, I saw the moon through a gap in the clouds. Despite my best efforts, I cannot get back the outline of the moon – only the brightness through the clouds! It’s quite impressive, though!

A more regular view of the little statue of Countess Mount Temple than the previous picture I took, in silhouette from the slope which goes down to the left of the statue. She was a local Victorian philanthropist. Every day someone puts a fresh flower in her hand.

After our stroll along the sea front, we went for a drink in the Cliff Railway Cafe. You can see the sea view through the window. We didn’t go down the funicular railway this time as it wasn’t very bright weather and we needed to rest a bit. (Of course, as we got back to the car park, the sun came out! Typical…)

I had to take a photo of our three beverages because they looked so pretty and the china was such fun! Our neighbour had tea (not yet poured); my hubby had a latte with a very pretty design on the top, and I had a cappuccino.

It was only a short outing today. On the way back, my hubby took our neighbour into Sainsbury’s to help her do her shopping, and I sat in the car and did a bit in my puzzle book and then dozed off for 10 or 15 minutes. Compared with how I would usually be on the first day after a treatment on the full dose, when I would be pole-axed on the recliner incapable of anything, I did remarkably well today and haven’t had to have a long sleep! The peripheral neuropathy has been a bit troublesome so I’ve had the gloves back on, but apart from that I’m remarkably well. Last time, on the reduced dose, I did pretty well in week 1 of the cycle, but crashed in week 2 – if this happens again I shan’t mind because I know it’s only temporary, and this time there is no further treatment to follow, so I shall simply continue to get better as the effects of the chemo gradually diminish from my system. Roll on the day! I count my blessings every day and am so thankful that I am doing so well – my recovery is now well in sight, and everyone at the hospital is very pleased with me, and are sure that the cancer is all gone.

I Have Finished my Chemo!

The second of two posts for today. Please scroll down to see my latest Florabunda card collection – worth seeing as the Perfect Pearls are just gorgeous!

I have posted an edited entry from my Cancer Diary page into the main blog because it is such an important event, and I know that not everybody visits the Cancer Diary. Edit: I have been experiencing problems with Blogger (again…) and am unable to post from Blogger’s editor so my latest Cancer Diary page has not yet been updated. Unfortunately I cannot post to any page except the Home Page on my blog from Windows Live Writer, which is my preferred blog editor. Further edit: I have now discovered that this is a problem with Firefox. I can successfully publish posts to my Cancer Diary page if I use Chrome – not my preferred browser, so I am hoping Firefox will resolve this issue in double quick time!

I keep being quite overwhelmed by the fact that today I had my final chemo session! I wonder when I am going to wake up and find that it is not true and that I still have loads to get through... Recently I got really fed up with feeling ill all the time, and wondered if I'd ever get through it but the time has simply raced away, and suddenly I was facing the final session.

I had to wait for nearly an hour before being seen, but in the end this was a blessing in disguise (more later). I was taken in and prepared for the chemo as usual, and then went into the treatment bay. I began by eating the lovely packed lunch my hubby had so kindly made for me, and continued through the afternoon with a combination of a bit of colouring for my Florabunda card project, reading my book, and doing part of a puzzle, and chatting with some really lovely people. One lady told me she’d recently had a colostomy and wasn’t dealing well with it. I had a chat with her and said that how she felt did not alter the fact of it being part of her life, and that a change of attitude would really help her. I shared my story, and also gave her quite a few hints that I have learnt along the way. I got some nice feedback from one of the nurses later, that this lady had found the conversation very helpful. I shall be very happy if any of my experiences over the past year can be used to help others even in a small way.

The atmosphere is so friendly on the unit and even people whose cancer is terminal have the most amazing upbeat attitude and are full of smiles, and the resolution to make the absolute best of whatever life remains to them, and everyone emphasises the importance of family, of love, of appreciating each and every day, of counting one's blessings - all those things that money cannot buy, and which are of infinite worth. All attitudes and thoughts I have been cultivating over the past months! The nurses are also all amazing, and the clerical staff too - there is a lot of laughter in what is a happy place, despite the seriousness of its raison d'etre. Logically, it should be a place of doom and gloom and depression, but the resilience of the human spirit, and love and caring, make it quite otherwise.

My hubby arrived while I still had about a quarter of an hour of chemo infusion to go, and then I saw the machine count down from one minute to zero, and my final beeps began, and I raised all my imaginary flags! The nurse who had been looking after me today, came and did all the necessaries to finish my treatment, and I was free to go.

By this time, because of the delay at the start, all the other patients had gone, and the nurses were not all rushing around being ultra-busy, so I got my phone out and said I wanted some photos of me with them all. They were all very enthusiastic about the idea, apart from one who wailed, "I haven't got any makeup on!!" in very good humour, and was instantly shouted down, in equally good humour and a lot of laughter ("We haven't got time to wait two hours..." "I've got some permanent markers in my locker..." etc. etc.!!) We called Emma, my favourite desk clerk of the team who work on reception, and she came and joined in the photo shoot too.

Here are the photos I took of the Ricky Grant Day unit (looking very strange with no patients!) - you will see what a lovely place it is, and how they have gone to a lot of trouble to introduce restful pastel shades, and a lot of pale wood panelling, to make it look less "hospitally." The first photo shows the corner of the reception desk, looking down the further corridor, which has doors off to the right with separate treatment rooms, some of which have couches in them for people to rest on while they have their chemo. You can see the drip trolleys on the left, which are used for the treatments.

Looking back the other way from reception, you can see the wide corridor that also serves as the waiting area. As usual in every hospital waiting room I have ever been in, there are NO spaces to park wheelchairs, with the result that I ALWAYS feel as if I'm in the way! I have written this on numerous feedback sheets but so far nothing has happened to remedy this - considering how many disabled people attend hospitals, I think this is quite an oversight. On the far right of the foreground of this photo you can see the large rubbish bin, the space in front of which has become my favoured parking place! (Make of that what you will, lol!)

Behind the seats in the waiting area are two wide gaps giving access into the two treatment bays. The next picture shows the first one, where I have always gone. On the right, between the windows, you can see a low dividing wall which separates the two areas. The second area has a wide-screen TV on the wall. It looks very odd with no patients sitting in the chairs (you can see one of the recliners in the corner - my preferred seating as they are very comfortable, and the other chairs certainly are not - at least for me!), and the occasional tables which have jars of sweets for people to suck to take away the horrible taste of the chemo. Along the wall, on the white strip, are numerous power points to plug in the drip machines.

Here is Emma, my favourite reception clerk, at the desk. If you look carefully it looks as if she's got three arms. This is because one of the nurses was hiding behing her, unbeknownst to her, and raising two fingers above her head, which you can just see if you look very carefully! Lol!

Finally, here is the group shot my hubby took. I am leaning back with my arms around the two nearest to me, and I look so FAT!!! (OK, I AM fat, but not as fat as I used to be!) You can see how happy everybody looks.

I was sorry that several of the lovely nurses who have looked after me over the past six months were not present today. I shall be emailing one of them with the photo so that she can pass it on to the others. They were all exceptional people, so friendly and encouraging and helpful, and efficient in their work - so sad that they are so busy because there is so much cancer about. They are unfailingly cheerful, remember our names, and give us the very best treatment. As we were leaving, Emma gave me a questionnaire to fill in about what I felt about my treatment, and I gave them a five-star rating on every count, and in the comments section, said that if chemo could ever be considered to be fun, it would be, given the nature of the truly wonderful staff on the unit, and that they all deserved a gold medal with diamonds on it. When I started writing, they all started chipping in with remarks like, "I (Emma) am the most efficient clerk on the unit," and "I am the best nurse," and "I am the most beautiful nurse" etc. etc.!!! Eventually I cried out "Stop! If I start writing that I'll forget someone and they will get upset" lol! We had such a good laugh.

Although I am absolutely 100 percent delighted that my chemo is now finished, I am going to miss going to Ricky Grant and receiving such loving and caring treatment. I shall be going back, though - I have an appointment in six weeks' time for port flushing and bloods, and will probably be returning in the future for further blood tests until I am guaranteed clear of the cancer, so I shall be seeing them all periodically, just not on such a regular basis.

I also want to make more things for the chemo people. I have been thinking about this, and while I simply love to give things away, and would be happy to continue to do this, it occurred to me that if I charged a token amount for each item, the gift would be a double wammy, because the recipient would have something nice to treasure without breaking the bank, and the unit would benefit from more much needed funds, so that they can continue to give others the excellent care that I have received. There is a box on the reception desk with cards in it that people have made, and I could certainly do some for them in my own style, and I could make other items too. I have gained so much from my six months' attendance on the unit and it would be a nice way to put something back, and also an opportunity to call in every now and then and catch up with everybody.

My hubby took me home after this, and I really wasn't feeling too bad. I managed to eat a nice evening meal, and while I do feel slightly peculiar, and have had a little peripheral neuropathy in my hands after touching something cold, it is not there in a big way and I haven't resorted to my gloves. Like last time, I may find that week 1 is pretty good, and I may crash again in week 2, but we shall see.

I think that already, the effects are less severe because my whole attitude has changed now that the treatment has finished. I am feeling so good that phase 3 of my journey is now at an end (phase 1 being preparation for surgery and then the actual operation and hospital stay; phase 2 being learning to manage Kermit, my stoma, and phase 3 being the chemo). Phase 4 can now be called "the recovery phase" when I can really concentrate on getting well. I am convinced that I am going to be OK now; they are all very optimistic at the hospital that all the cancer has gone. I shall do my best with eating the right foods to help my body expell the residue of toxic chemicals from my system, and my positive attitude and determination will also help me along the way.

What a journey this has been! Phase 4 will include the CT scan and further blood tests in the next 4-6 weeks, and then ongoing for the next five years. At some point I shall have to go in to have the port removed, but they will most likely leave it in for a while until they are sure it won't be needed any more, and this means I shall have to return to the Ricky Grant unit for it to be flushed every six weeks if it has not been used. However, during phase 4, I shall be concentrating on getting my life back on track at home, and gradually taking on my previous roles on the domestic front, relying on my hubby on the days when I am feeling not so good - he has had plenty of practice and I am sure he won't mind stepping into the breach when necessary. I am not intending to rush into doing too much and setting myself back, but I shall be sensible and continue to listen to my body.

Amazingly, today, the "Daily Blessing" in my side bar has come up with this:

Friday October 16, 2015

Today's Verse:

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13,14 / KJV

How appropriate.

Diamond Wedding Anniversary Card

My hubby reminded me we were invited to a diamond wedding tea party today. When we were invited some time ago I wasn’t sure I’d be well enough to go, because it would be less than a week after a chemo treatment, but because I am doing so much better on the reduced dose, I felt just about able to go.

I had forgotten about it in the meantime, and suddenly realised I needed to make a card! This is one of the reasons for wanting to start my card factory – to avoid having to make cards at such short notice as this.

Even though I am feeling better than usual at this stage in a cycle, I am far from 100 percent, and this morning I was suffering badly from chemo brain and made soooo many mistakes, it was driving me nuts! I did succeed in making a card, but managed to leave out one bit which I found after I’d finished! Also, recently I bought some circle dies which I simply cannot find, and I thought I had a music embossing folder, which I didn’t, so I had to rethink the thing on the fly! It was rather a frustrating morning all round, but I got there in the end.

It was rather difficult to photograph because it is white and sparkly. The glitter and silver don’t show up as much as in real life.

This card is not my usual style, but I wanted to do something silvery and sparkly for a diamond wedding. The couple are retired musicians, so I decided to add something to give a musical theme. The wife later said, when she opened the card, “Oh! It’s a record!” I hadn’t thought of it like that, but it does look a bit like a CD!

I began by creating some mat layers, using silver mirror card and some white card which I inked around the edges with Hickory Smoke distress ink, using a home-made ink blending tool. I got this distress ink quite recently (one of the new ones for this year) and am surprised how much I am using it already – it’s a lovely soft grey, and a very useful colour.

Not being able to find my circle dies, I had to resort to my Martha Stewart circle cutter, a tool I really don’t much like. The die would have produced a nice embossed edge, which of course this does not.

I cut a 4-inch circle and stamped and heat-embossed it using the “Music Background” stamp from the Artistic Stamper, using Cosmic Shimmer glitter embossing powder, which came out slightly pink from one direction, and a shimmery green the other way – very pretty! I haven’t used this for ages and had forgotten how nice it was.

Here is the circle mount. Rather difficult to see but you can just see the pinkness of it!

I made a circle with “60” in it to go in the centre. I used stamps from the Stampin’ Up set “Memorable Moments” – a very useful set because it has separate words for the sentiments, and numbers, and “rd,” “nd” etc. so that you can mix and match, and a nice little scalloped oval shape to stamp them in as well. I chose the number 60 for the front of the card, stamped it on white card and heat embossed it with silver embossing powder. I then went over it with a glue pen and added some Hunkydory Diamond Sparkles Angel Whispers fine glitter. I cut out the circle using a plain 2-inch circle punch.

I find the best way to make sure that glitter is well stuck down is to put a piece of paper over the top, and then run a brayer over it several times. I find very little loose glitter falls off that way.

Here is the completed “60” layered onto a slightly larger piece of silver mirror card punched out with a scalloped circle punch.

Turning back to the background again, I found some ice sparkly silver and organza ribbon in my stash and stuck this down vertically across the mat with double sided tape.

Using two sizes of butterfly stamps from the Stamping’ Up “Papillon Potpourri” set, I heat-embossed two of each, using the same glitter embossing powder as before, and silver embossing powder respectively, and then fussy-cut them out with fine scissors.

I added the Diamond Sparkles glitter with the glue pen as before, to the silver-embossed butterflies.

To stamp the inside of the card, I used stamps from the Stampin’ Up “Memorable Moments” set, using Wendy Vecchi Archival Ink in Watering Can, which tones very well with Hickory Smoke distress ink.

I stuck down the two glitter-embossed butterflies using Scotch Quick Dry Adhesive in the centres so that the wings were loose, and attached the antennae using the glue pen.

The finished card, showing the glittered silver-embossed butterflies, attached in the same way.

We got to the party OK and it was great. I was so glad I went – the couple were surprised and delighted to see me as they didn’t think I’d be able to come. It was lovely seeing lots of other old friends too, and catching up. A very happy time. The card went down well, too!

I felt a lot better when we got home, and spent the evening relaxing on the recliner. We’d had plenty of gorgeous canapes at the party so we just had some stewed apple and cream later in the evening. I’m hoping to feel better again tomorrow, but I am not pushing it. I intend to rest and get over the busy day I had today.

Florabunda Book

Even though the oncologist reduced my chemo dose by 50 percent on Friday, I am still feeling extremely wiped out and exhausted. However, the peripheral neuropathy is much reduced, which is a good sign, and this was the main reason for the dose reduction. My appetite has been poor these past couple of days and I’ve just got to do my usual, and go with the flow, rest as much as possible, sleep when I need to, and try to keep as positive as possible, always remembering that I now have only one treatment to go.

Recently I commented on Neil’s blog and amazingly, I won the book he was reviewing, of which he had a couple of copies to give away. For someone who never wins anything this was a big surprise! The book arrived today.

It is written by Suzanne McNeill of Design Originals, a prolific Zentangle artist and CZT (Certified Zentangle Teacher) in the USA. Her videos are a delight – this lady is so full of joy and inspiration! This latest book is a sort of offshoot of Zentangle, being a form of floral doodling. There is loads of potential for design with this – in the same way as Zentangle, you build up the designs one stroke at a time, from simple elements. She shows how to get different effects with different types of pens and colouring, with lots of inspiration for creating different projects

Neil popped in this adorable little tangled card he made for me with my initial on it, and with some kind words inside.

Here are a few sample pages from the book. I am sure you will agree that it is beautifully produced, and high quality.

It contains pages that you can colour in yourself, and plenty of blank spaces for developing your own practice drawings.

I love the lettering section towards the end. Lots of inspiration here!

I hope this sample has encouraged you to look further at this.

I am just starting another card factory to replenish my stash, and this time I am intending making lots of relatively simple cards that I can produce fairly quickly, while my energy levels are so low. This book has come at an ideal time – I can do some simple floral doodles on small squares of card while resting on the recliner, and make them up into cards in my studio during those short periods when I feel up to sitting up at my work station.

Watch this space!

Thank you so much, Neil, for making this offer of the book to give away. I am highly delighted to have won it, and it made my day receiving it today when I am feeling rather poorly.

Chemo and Rapunzel

Today I went in for my seventh, and penultimate chemo treatment. Yesterday I saw Dr. Lo, the oncologist, and as usual she was particularly concerned about the peripheral neuropathy – if one is not careful this side effect can become permanent, and the only way to reduce that risk is to reduce the dose of the chemo. I have already had two reductions of 10 percent each, and thought she might suggest this, but she said that as I was so near the end of the course, she could reduce it to half the original amount for the final two sessions! I was very surprised (and delighted) at this, and asked whether it might not compromise the effectiveness of the treatment. She replied that some research has been done on patients receiving chemo after the removal of their cancers by surgery, and it has been suggested that those whose dose is reduced, or whose treatment is shortened, do just as well as those who have the full dose for the full six months, so she was confident that I would be OK. I am looking forward to seeing if this affects how I feel over the coming fortnight – I should notice a huge difference!

The Ricky Grant Day Unit phoned this morning while I was still in bed, to ask if I would come in earlier than my 1.15 p.m. appointment. I was half expecting this, because it happened before when they’d made me rather a late appointment. Because the treatment takes four hours, they are anxious to finish before the unit closes for the day. Why they can’t think of this when they make the initial appointment is beyond me! Last time I had to rush around and was still late, but at least this time they asked me to come in at 12 noon, so I still had time to get up and do everything that was necessary, and have a bit of time to myself in the morning before setting off.

All went off OK, except that the place was absolutely heaving with people today! For the first couple of hours there wasn’t a recliner chair available for me, even though I specifically requested it because I find it uncomfortable to sit in a normal chair without having my feet up for any length of time. The chair they offered me was the same as the one I’d had on the ward after my operation and it was very uncomfortable! After a short while I transferred back to my wheelchair which was at least more comfortable and supported me in all the right places, but I really did want to get my feet up. It was rather annoying that the man sitting opposite me was sitting on a recliner but in its upright position, so he would have been just as comfortable on a normal chair, freeing up the recliner for the likes of yours truly!! Eventually, though, this recliner became available when the man left, and I sat next to a delightful couple (husband having treatment) and we had a nice chat.

As usual, I took a bag of things in to do, but ended up not touching most of it, because I had printed out some free downloads of adult colouring pages, and decided to work on one of these. The nurses were very interested and loved what I had done, and enjoyed seeing it progressing. They are all so friendly and lovely.

This is the finished drawing. After using my Sharpies for the Koi Carp drawing I did before, this time I decided to go for a more subtle effect using my coloured pencils, which blend beautifully for shading.

Here is the original printed drawing.

My c9lored pencils, which fit very nicely in one of Dad’s old cigar boxes! Beside it are the other bits and pieces I thought I might need – pencil sharpener, paper stump for blending, pencil-shaped eraser, Zig Millennium archival pen, soluble graphite pencil, water brush. In the end I didn’t use the pencil sharpener, the graphite pencil or the water brush,  but everything else came in handy.

Now for some detail shots. Here is a detail of the hair. I had fun shading this!

Detail of the prince. Note the shading on his hat.

Detail of the trees and towers. I like the roofs on part of the castle, that I decided to colour to look like terracotta tiles.

Detail of the top border. The lattice didn’t look like a wooden one to me, with its cross-shaped pieces connecting the bars – it looked more like metal, so I coloured it as such. This suggested to me the fact that Rapunzel was imprisoned in her tower. The top border has a slightly art nouveau flavour to it.

Detail of Rapunzel’s face. You can’t see it very well in the photo but she has a delicate blush of pink on her cheeks, and blue eyeshadow. Note the shading under her arm.

Lastly, a detail shot of the bottom of the picture. I love how the hair spills out beyond the frame of the picture. The whole picture has a lovely fluid feel to it.

A final glimpse of the finished picture again. You will notice that I added a drop shadow which gives the picture a bit of dimension. I hope you enjoyed it!

Edit: You might be interested to visit http://www.coloring-pages-adults.com/ where I downloaded this drawing – they have got literally hundreds of amazing adult colouring pages for free download, arranged in categories. More than enough for a lifetime of happy colouring, I should think! Have fun.