A Fruitful Appointment with my Surgeon

Warning – medical details – do not read if you are squeamish about such things!

I saw Mr. Pullan, my colorectal surgeon, today, as a follow-up after my recent CT scan which confirmed my suspicion that my parastomal hernia had returned. This is one of the images from the CT scan, which I annotated – it clearly shows the hernia.

This hernia has now been repaired twice, and last time I saw Mr. Pullan, in August, he said that if I was correct and the hernia had returned, it would be more difficult to repair this time because a) it had already been repaired twice and b) there was now a Permacol biological mesh in place.

Today, having seen the scan images, he was able to enter into a more constructive discussion of options. He didn’t have the images in front of him so I showed him this one on my iPad and he was fascinated by the annotations! He found it useful as he was able to point out various things, including the considerable size of the defect through which the hernia is emerging.

He said first of all that (as I already knew), the next step in such cases was to re-site the stoma on the other side of the abdomen, because repeated repairs weaken the surrounding muscle and any further repair along the same lines would be less likely to be effective. I reminded him also of the fact that during the hernia repair operation he had made extra incisions either side of the stoma to give him more room to manoeuvre which would have further weakened the area, and he agreed with this. We also agreed that we were starting from a disadvantage from the outset, because my muscles are already very weak due to my ME.

I told him I really didn’t want to go down the moving-the-stoma route, which he understood and appreciated – I said that Kermit, my stoma, is working fine, and I am used to him being where he is, and surely moving him would just introduce another site for potential herniation, which he agreed would be the case. He said that also, there was a lot more “plumbing” involved with moving an ileostomy to the left-hand side of the abdomen – ileostomies are always on the right because this is where the junction between the small and large intestines is, so it is logical to place the stoma here when the colon is removed. Colostomies, on the other hand, are always sited on the left, and lower down, for the same reasons of anatomy. Moving the stoma would mean starting from scratch again with a brand new stoma and all its associated problems – although of course I now have quite a bit of experience under my belt (literally!) and I wouldn’t be dealing with these as a newbie, and would know how to cope with it all. I told him that since the last repair operation in March of this year when he inserted the mesh, I have had no trouble with Kermit because as I requested, Mr. Pullan made him longer so the output tends to go into the bag rather than underneath it. Previously he had been retracting flush with the skin and causing a lot of leaks and skin irritation. During this operation, Mr. Pullan inserted the mesh through the hole in the abdominal wall through which Kermit emerges, remaking him in the process, thus avoiding open surgery again, which I have already had done twice. Kermit is now a much better shape than previously, causing everything to work a lot better, and I am reluctant to disturb this state of affairs.

I asked him what were the pros and cons of simply leaving things as they were. He had told me after my first repair operation in January 2017 that smaller hernias were more likely to cause obstructions than larger ones. That operation was an emergency, following an obstruction caused by the first hernia which was quite small, and could easily become restricted. I asked him how large the hernia is now, in terms of risk of obstruction. He said it was medium-sized, so I suppose it carries medium risk of obstruction. He said that having experienced one before, I knew the signs, and would know what to do. I told him I knew that obstructions were a call for an emergency visit to A&E and that they were life-threatening, and that if there was nothing in the bag and I was throwing up, I would go straight away. He said that that was good, but it could be in a dangerous state even if I had not started vomiting, and if I noticed any change from normal, such as pain in that area, I should be on high alert and seek immediate advice.

My hubby said that if we just left it alone, it might cause another obstruction, necessitating emergency surgery again, for which I was not prepared, and in an already weakened and compromised condition, leading to a less favourable outcome as far as recovery was concerned. I said I agreed with this, but having elective surgery also carries risks – after all, my repair operation in March of this year led to a serious, life-threatening infection.

Turning to the possibility of further surgical intervention, he said this was quite a problem. It’s not just the fact that it’s been done before and there is now mesh in place, but the position of the hernia is an issue, being in the right iliac fossa, where there are quite a few structures in a relatively small space – the most difficult site for a parastomal hernia. Each time it has recurred in the same place. He examined me again, and remarked that I am quite short in the body and there isn’t a lot of space between the bottom of my rib-cage and the top of my pelvis, which makes this situation worse. I suggested six months of spinal traction to stretch me but he laughed and didn’t think that would really help!! (Might be nice to be a few inches taller, though…)

He said there were various alternative surgical approaches to repair intractable parastomal hernias, including a procedure known as the Sugarbaker technique. I told him I knew about this, having done some research prior to my last repair. It involves attaching a piece of mesh to the inside of the abdominal wall, and rather than cutting a hole in the mesh through which the end of the intestine passes in order to form the stoma, the mesh is applied over a length of bowel, forming a tunnel over it, trapping it against the inside of the abdominal wall and preventing it from moving around and emerging through any defect in the muscle. There is some risk involved in anchoring a section of bowel in this way as the loops of intestine are designed to slide over one another with the passage of food, and it can cause a blockage. He said that he had not performed this operation but the literature was positive about its outcome. When I got home I did some further research on this, and found that compared with other forms of repair (simple suturing – 100% recurrence – this is what I had for the first repair, performed as an emergency following an obstruction, performed by a general surgeon not qualified to perform a better repair at that time, and “keyhole” repair, where a hole is cut in the mesh, through which the stoma passes – a slightly better prognosis but still resulting in fairly high percentages of recurrence – this is the type of repair I had in March of this year), Sugarbaker has a much lower rate of recurrence and is more likely to remain stable. Statistics vary, of course, depending on a variety of factors, such as the length of time spent monitoring for failure post-operatively in the various trials, and differences in individual patients, such as age, weight, lifestyle etc.

Here is a diagram of mesh attached using the Sugarbaker technique.

I said I was fairly reluctant to face further surgery if it could be avoided, especially in view of how ill I was after the last operation, and he understood this. We agreed that it was a matter of weighing the risks of further surgery and doing nothing, which could result in another obstruction and the necessity for emergency surgery with all the disadvantages of that – for example, no proper physical and emotional preparation, which can adversely affect the outcome with slower recovery times etc. Also, as happened to me before, by the time they eventually did operate, I had been vomiting and not eating for several days (waiting from the Sunday morning till Tuesday evening for a CT scan!!) and was in a seriously weakened state which is not ideal for someone about to undergo major surgery.

We spoke a bit about my post-operative experience this year, being readmitted a fortnight after discharge with a severe infection. He recalled the further operation required to insert the larger and deeper of the two drains, I told him how much pain the larger drain had caused, especially when it was first moved, and then removed – about the worst pain I had ever experienced – and we talked about my brief stay in Mum’s nursing home on discharge, not just to help me convalesce, but also for my hubby’s benefit. I said that I had felt so poorly with the infection, and he agreed that I had been very seriously ill.

I said I did not relish the risk of a repetition of that, and I asked what was the cause of the abdominal haematomas that gave rise to the infection. He said that I had probably been put back on the rivaroxaban (anticoagulant) a bit too soon after surgery, and if there had been something weakened that had bled a little, under normal circumstances this would have healed up on its own, but in my case, the reduced clotting of the blood had caused more extensive internal bleeding. In such cases, the body launches a defence in the form of an invasion of macrophages to mop up the bleed, and the whole thing can get very sludgy and infected. It was a relief to know that there was a logical reason for the internal bleed and that it was not likely to happen again.

He also said that the internal bleeding itself could ultimately have led to the failure of the hernia repair. It could cause the mesh not to adhere correctly, leading to an early return of the hernia. The biological mesh would eventually be absorbed by the body without having done its job. I found this explanation for the failure of the repair quite fascinating, and it did explain a lot. Initially I was amazed and disappointed that the mesh repair had failed so rapidly, and couldn’t understand why this should have happened.

Mr. Pullan said he would like to consult a colleague at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital (RD&E) and run some of his thoughts past him to see if he could come up with any other ideas of how to deal with this intractable problem, and to weigh up the risks and benefits of various approaches. He would send him my scan images and full details of everything that had been done to me so far, and he may or may not want to see me himself. He is probably one of the colorectal surgeons from that hospital who came to speak to our local Ileostomy Association about parastomal hernias soon after my original operation – it seemed to be an area of particular interest to him. It would be strange if it was the same surgeon – unfortunately I can’t remember his name.

I really appreciate all the trouble Mr. Pullan is taking, and the thought he is putting into my case – I have been very impressed with this aspect of my relationship with him throughout. He is a very thoughtful and thorough man, and he is always very open with his ideas and suggestions, keeping me fully informed, and all the while listening carefully to my own views and opinions, and answering all my questions in a considerate and informative way. I always come away having learnt something interesting. I have always taken a great interest in all aspects of my various medical conditions and their treatment, and have taken a lively interest in everything done to me and for me, and I have found that everyone associated with my care has responded very well to this, and have been more than willing to explain and discuss in depth any issues of interest to me. Probably the majority of patients just go in, have stuff done to them and leave, happy to remain in blissful ignorance, but that’s not enough for me! I find the whole thing fascinating, and this attitude seems to be appreciated as most of them love their work, and enjoy talking about it. I love to hear of the latest advances etc. and how the professionals are working at the cutting edge (sometimes literally!) for our benefit. We are so blessed to have such consummate professionals to care for us in our wonderful NHS, especially when they are as charming and personable as Mr. Pullan and those others who have been involved in my treatment and care. Hats off to them all!

I came away from the appointment with answers to questions I had not even thought to ask. It was a very constructive and informative consultation and an educational experience. We now await further developments.

I was also able to have a word with the stoma nurse about the ongoing saga of the support pants. Having heard nothing further from the company for a while, I phoned the rep yesterday and left a message on her voicemail, asking for a progress report on the final pants that I am still waiting for. I have two pairs, and can just about manage with those, but I will be stuck if I have an accident – I need one on, one in the wash, and a spare in case of emergencies. She said she would email them today and ask them what was going on, and to contact me asap. She said it was very poor that I had had to wait over three months to get even the first pair. I said the trouble was, they had no competition as they are the only company that does both home visits and a bespoke service, and she said lack of competition should make no difference, and the way things had been dealt with was not good enough. She did add, though, that when they got it right, the garments were excellent, and I had to agree with her. The two pairs I have got are really good – a very good fit, beautifully made, and they do what they are supposed to do, too.

So we await further developments on that front, too.

WOYWW 494–Turtles and Tortoises, Ants and Pants

Studio Time!

At last I have managed to have a good long session in my studio, so for once I’ve got a real desk to show you for WOYWW. I’ve got a few projects with a deadline, and I’m waiting for some supplies from Ebay, but in the meantime I’ve been able to make a start on embellishments, in the form of a flower factory. Sheba, my Cougar cutting machine, has been working overtime.

I’m afraid I can’t go into detail about the projects for the usual reasons, but all will be revealed in due course.

A few weeks ago my hubby gave me four little frames that he’d bought at a church sale, and then discovered that they didn’t have glass in them, so he didn’t want them. He offered them to me and I was sure I could do something with them.

I dismantled them and took the embellishments apart for use in other projects. The first step will be to paint them with gesso, and then they can be embellished.

Sourdough

After my success last week, I decided to try making two small loaves instead of one large one, so I could use my small bannetons again. I made it on Saturday and ended up with two small turtles again – it collapsed completely. I was very disappointed and frustrated.

Where it did rise a bit, it had formed one big hole, that you can see in the photo. Again, it tasted delicious. I decided to make some more straight away, so the next day I did a repeat performance, with great success, and ended up with two tortoises instead of turtles!

Here they are, with the bannetons.

Really not bad at all. The only problem is, using the Dutch oven method, I have to bake one after the other, which means having the oven on for quite a bit longer, but it’s only once a week.

I realised that I’d made a couple of mistakes with the first batch. I’d put the salt in too soon, before the autolyse had had time to rest, and I definitely over-worked the dough, which results in developing the gluten to the extent that by the final proving, it starts to break down and the dough collapses. Success is all in the handling, and with the second batch, I followed the instructions to the letter and got much better results. It’s still a bit flat but the dough felt a lot less wet and sticky, and it did hold up better.

I did some other cooking as well during the week. I made a couple of big casseroles for the freezer so we’ve got plenty of ready cooked meals – a beef one and a tarragon chicken one, both very tasty.

I also made some sugar-free marmalade at the weekend, adapting a recipe I found on a diabetic site. I adore marmalade and could eat it all the time, but am always conscious of the high sugar content, especially as I am watching my weight. My hubby is no longer pre-diabetic since he gave up added sugar, and when he was last checked he was absolutely fine – normal, with no indication of diabetes at all, which I am sure has been helped by our general change in diet over the past few months, with more low GI carbs, fewer processed foods and all the fermented stuff – kefir, kombucha and sourdough.

The marmalade is sweetened with Stevia, and thickened with soaked chia seeds which produce a natural, unflavoured gel. The recipe warned that the seeds make the marmalade look as if it’s full of ants but I don’t care about that! They are full of nutrients and also prevent dehydration which is good news for ileostomates too! I made the marmalade with one of the tins of Mamade I had in the pantry –this is just prepared Seville oranges with no additives, to which you simply add sugar and water and boil it up, so the next best thing to completely home-made, just without all the hard work! The sugar-free version is delicious, even if it doesn’t look that palatable.

I’m not sure how long it will keep, so I’ve put the jars in the fridge. I don’t think it will hang around for long, though, especially if we are both digging in!

I’ve got a couple of events coming up for which I need to make some little presents, so I’m hoping to be back in the studio again this coming week.

Health update

I’ve had three days this week when I’ve been completely wiped out and not able to do anything much, which is a bore, and this has not been helped by another dose of hair-tearing frustration today over my ongoing support garments saga.

Not having heard anything, I phoned them a couple of days ago, only to be told that the GP had only prescribed one additional pair instead of two. The first pair (which had to be made twice because they messed up on the first pair, which didn’t fit me) was issued on a single prescription, so getting a further prescription meant more delay. I was annoyed that the company hadn’t seen fit to inform me of this, and if I hadn’t phoned up, I wouldn’t have known, which would have caused more delay again. I emailed the GP surgery straight away (hopeless trying to phone), asking what was going on, and had an immediate reply, saying they had issued another prescription straight away, for two pairs! If all goes according to plan, this will mean that I should end up with a total of four pairs, rather than the maximum of three that I am supposed to have. Three is the absolute minimum – one on, one in the wash, and one for emergencies in case Kermit has a leak or something. I told the GP about all the problems I’ve been having with the company.

The woman I spoke to at the company said she would check with the work room and see what progress was being made on the single pair that they were making, and she would phone me straight back. I sat by the phone for two or three hours and then phoned again because I had heard nothing, only to be told that the woman had phoned back and left a message on our answering machine! I told her the phone had not rung, and when I checked, there was no message. Hopeless. Anyway, she said the pants would be sent out on Friday, which means I won’t get them till early next week. They were supposed to be pushing this through as a matter of urgency, after messing me about with the first pair, and now I’ve got to wait another whole week! I told her that I had been wearing the only pair I have got so far, for nearly 3 weeks and they need a wash!!! The old ones from last year are not giving any support at all so it’s pointless wearing those.

I told her I was fed up with all this messing about, and I was very unimpressed with how unbusinesslike the whole thing was, and how frustrated I felt. I told her my hernia had definitely returned and that these garments are essential medical supplies, and it was completely unreasonable to have to wait for 3 months from when the stoma nurse made the initial appointment, to receive even one pair. I told her I’d had all this nonsense last year as well, and I didn’t know what I would do if they got the subsequent garments wrong, so they’d jolly well better get them right! She said she was very sorry, and completely understood how I felt, etc. etc. I said this is what they all said, but nothing ever got done! What I need is some action, and some results.

Shoshi spitting tacks again. Grrrrrrrr and double grrrrrrrrrrrr. I shall definitely tell the stoma nurse when I see her in December at my surgeon’s appointment. She was appalled last year, and said she would contact them about it, and reported back to me that she hadn’t had much joy with them, either.

Hopefully by this time next week, I will at least have got a second pair.

Kitties

No kitty photos this week. Neither of them has done anything very interesting except eat and sleep and keep me warm, and a bit more mutual washing on my lap! They are both eating well now the weather is colder and they’ve filled out quite a bit. Two nice little substantial kitties! (Or should I say, “Fat and lazy!”)Ruby hasn’t got out again now my hubby has cut that tree right down.

WOYWW 492 Peacock Feathers and Purple Spots

This week I’ve been working on crochet and knitting projects.

Crochet Peacock Feathers

Working on the peacock feather embellishments for my peacock scarf.

When I did the ironing the other day, I pressed the ones I’d completed and this really improved their appearance. After this I made a few more, but have now run out of the lime green so will need to order some more.

Yesterday I began adding the “barbs” to the feathers. On the above photo you can see the two variations I’ve made of the pattern: one feather with a shaft and one without, with their barbs added – I still have a few more to add to the shaft of the one on the right.

I spent quite a bit of time experimenting with different lengths, and making a chart on my desktop publisher so that I know how many of each length to cut. On the original instructions it said just to add them (no measurements) and then trim them but I thought that was rather wasteful of yarn when I had so many to do (amazing how the inches soon add up!) so I thought a bit of advance planning would pay off better.

They will need a small amount of trimming but nothing significant. I may not have enough of the peacock coloured yarn to complete this so I shall hold out on ordering more of the lime green until I’m sure.

The next step was to comb out the barbs. The instructions said to use a wool carder for this, but when I tried, it tended to pull the strands off so I abandoned that, and tried with a stiff brush, but that didn’t really work.

In the end I used a fine embossing tool to tease out the plies of the strands. They look a bit kinked but once they are steam pressed they should straighten out.

These feathers are proving to be a lot more labour intensive than I’d thought! Attaching the barbs is extremely fiddly, but I don’t really mind because there’s no time limit on this project.

Re-knitting the Purple and Yellow Circles Jumper

During the week I made good progress on re-knitting the purple and yellow project I spent so long unravelling. It’s looking good! I had a lot of problems initially because I was keen to centre the pattern repeat. If I don’t do this, when I get to the neck, it will stick out like a sore thumb if it’s wrong! The trouble was, I kept ending up with the wrong number of stitches between the circles, and spent hours and hours undoing it and redoing it until I’d sorted out where I was going wrong. My hubby thought I was spending far too much time and effort on it but I told him if I didn’t get it right at the beginning, the whole thing would be a struggle. Eventually I got it right, and I can now knit away happily, almost with my eyes shut! Well worth the effort, and a good sense of satisfaction for having invested the time in it.

Kitties

Lily relaxing on my feet. I’d just put the recliner down because I wanted to get up, but she showed no sign of shifting herself and is resting her head against the foot of my table!

She is sooo soft and fluffy!

Ruby relaxing on top of Lily.

Her favourite place. Her sister is like a little soft feather mattress. Good thing she doesn’t seem to mind!

After being dirty little stop-outs all through the hot summer, they are now very content to be happy little indoor lap-cats and don’t much appreciate the cold and the rain!

More on the Pet Service

At church on Sunday, our resident photographer had made a montage of all the photos and put them up on the noticeboard.

Note Lily and Ruby bottom left.

I just had to get a picture of the photo of one of our members coming down the steps outside while doing some work with the Men’s Working Party!! Good thing he’s got a sense of humour!

(For non-UK residents, “HMP” is “Her Majesty’s Prisons.”)

Sourdough

Another turtle again this week, I’m afraid.

I haven’t had time to research further this week, but I’ve got a few Youtube videos saved which I’m going to refer back to, and have another go with a different method and see if I can be more successful. The only thing I can think of that has changed is the weather. When I started with this method I was able to produce a very acceptable loaf – this one was baked back in August.

It’s all very mysterious because when I turn the bread out into the Dutch oven after its final proving, it always collapses and spreads, and I’m not getting the required oven spring to give it the height during the first 20 minutes of baking, which I was certainly achieving when I first started using the Dutch oven method. People say that this is all down to the handling, and not over-proving the dough, which causes it to collapse. I don’t think I’m folding it any differently from before, and if the colder weather is having any effect, it would surely be to under-prove the dough, not over-prove it.

This time I did try using a bit more of Esmeralda (my starter) but all that did was to make the dough more hydrated and a bit more difficult to handle. It still collapsed.

It’s disappointing when I have achieved better results in the past, and now seem to have slipped back. I’ve left a couple of comments on the blog of the baker whose technique I have been following, but he hasn’t replied.

I did make another batch of very successful sourdough starters from excess Esmeralda, and I’m pleased with those. Really thin and crispy! This recipe is a huge success and now one of our staples. Very nutritious and tasty.

Health Update

My first pair of support pants arrived, replacing their first attempt which didn’t fit, and they are fine. I contacted the firm immediately and requested the other two pairs to be made as soon as possible to the same pattern, and I’ve heard from them that another prescription has been requested – I had thought they’d ordered all three on the one prescription but apparently not, which is going to cause more delay. She said they would put it through urgently, but at least I’ve got one pair to wear, but I shall have to wear an old pair when they go in the wash.

After receiving a letter from my surgeon confirming the definite return of the hernia, I have now had an appointment to see him in mid-December, which is better than I’d hoped – I really didn’t expect anything before the new year. I hope he will agree to leave it alone and hope for the best, that it doesn’t cause another obstruction. At least Kermit, my stoma, is working very satisfactorily, not like last year when the hernia was causing him so many problems.

I also have my regular six-monthly oncology appointment tomorrow. I am not anxious about this, and am sure that all will continue to be well on that front. After this, I shall probably only see her once a year for the next two years, and if all continues to be clear, they should discharge me after that.

Other Activities

Last week we went to Somerset and met up with some friends who live near Bristol. We try to meet up for a meal several times a year, choosing a place that’s about mid-way between us. They are very old friends – my hubby knew them years before I met him, and we’ve been married 32 years, so they are very much part of our lives! We had our usual brilliant time, with a great meal too. She has completed all her embroidery City and Guilds and is now working on her diploma (what she laughingly calls her “diplomol” as they would say in Bristol! – on old maps, Bristol is called “Bristow” but they have to put an “L” on the end of everything haha!). She is very good indeed at what she does. I took along the album I made about Mum, in its new box, so that she could see what I’d been up to lately. As it was quite a long drive, I was able to work on my knitting, and sorted out the problem on the way up.

I’ve got to try and do some cooking tomorrow or on Thursday – I’ve got chicken and lots of roasting veggies arriving in my grocery order tomorrow, so I can get on and produce some freezer fodder.

WOYWW 490

No change on my main work desk this week, but over the other side, all my felt stuff has been pulled out again…

On Monday afternoon, I finally got round to wet-felting the embellishments I made for the striped scarf. You may remember a while back I needle-felted quite a few felt balls and flowers and these needed a bit of rough treatment to firm them up a bit. At the top of the photo on the left you can see my olive oil soap that you use with hot water for wet felting. That stuff smells lovely and I always associate it with felt.

All the pieces are laid out on the table with the vinyl cloth which is beside the sink in my studio. I shall leave them out until they are fully dry, and then I can start sewing the embellishments onto that scarf.

I’ve done quite a few more inches on the peacock scarf and I should finish the knitting in a few days’ time. I need to make a few more peacock feathers and then I can finish that one too.

I’ve also resumed unravelling a rather unsatisfactory knitted tunic top I made years ago – I like the colours and the design (purple circles on a yellow background – there’s a snippet of it in the photo montage that makes up my blog header) but it never fitted very well and I didn’t like the neck. I am going to knit it up again to a different design. It is made up of different 4-ply thickness yarns so there’s variety in the texture as well as the colour. I started working on this particular UFO (UnFinished Object) unravel months ago and it was another one that bit the dust along the way and definitely needs finishing. It will be good to have a new knitting project to keep me going through the winter.

The only other thing I did in the studio this week was also on Monday afternoon. I mended one of my necklaces that had got broken, and soldered a stretchy metal arm band that had also snapped, which I’ve been putting off doing for months! I like these old-fashioned men’s arm bands as I’ve got rather short arms and my sleeves are always too long, and they keep them up out of the way when I’m busy in the kitchen etc. Really pleased to have got that little job done. I had to do the other arm band too, last year. The joins obviously weren’t that secure, but I’ve had them for years so I suppose they haven’t done too badly.

I am getting absolutely inundated with dried teabags and I really need to start working on those, carefully cutting them open and tipping out the tea, ready to go on the garden. Then I’ve got to decide what to do with them all! This job is definitely on my UFOs to-do list.

Bread

I’ve decided to start making bread rolls. They are useful for sandwiches etc. and looking at the list of ingredients on the supermarket ones, I was horrified! So many added chemicals to such a simple food. They are very little trouble to make really, and much more delicious, and with no artificial additives. I found a simple half-and-half wholemeal and white recipe online and added lots of nice seeds to the mix (my usual sunflower and pumpkin, and also some chia and brown flax seeds for good measure), and topped with sesame seeds. A huge success!

My sourdough this week was NOT a success. As usual the flavour is good but I tried altering the technique a bit because I thought the reason why my sourdough never rises very much may be due to over-proving, but leaving it for a shorter time clearly wasn’t the right decision.

Oh well, it tastes OK, even if it’s rather dense this week! It would make good ballast.

Our Michelin-Starred Meal Out

Last night we went for our special meal out. A friend from church gave us the ticket that he’d won, saying we would enjoy it more than them. What a lovely treat! Scroll down to previous post. View it if you dare. Prepared to be green with envy, and don’t view if you are hungry or you’ll hate me!!

Kitties

On Sunday afternoon my hubby was busy in the garden, cutting back, and clearing all the weeds from the waterfall outside the kitchen window. Ruby was fascinated by all the activity and I snapped this sweet piccy of her balancing on the trellis – taken with the zoom through the kitchen window.

Lily has decided to be antisocial in the evenings and her latest sleeping place is on the armchair in the flat, much to my hubby’s disgust. Ruby just loves to settle down on my legs once I’ve got my feet up on the recliner and we both enjoy the mutual warmth!

My little buttercup was in real trouble yesterday – not just once, but twice, I caught Ruby in the act of licking my butter when my back was turned – while I was actually still in the room! The second time I caught her, she ran away and hid. She knew she’d been a naughty girl. Lots of cuddles and forgiveness later.

Health Update

The first pair of support pants duly arrived last Thursday and to my extreme annoyance, they don’t fit. I thought, “Oh no, not again…” I went through all this last year. I immediately phoned the lovely rep and she was absolutely horrified that this has happened to me again, and immediately swung into action, consulting her manager and attempting to sort out the problem. The next morning she phoned me for some additional accurate measurements and I emailed her photographs too. They are going to remake them and hopefully they will arrive in the next day or two as she was marking it urgent. I also sent her a photo of my now very obvious hernia and she agreed this really needs proper support.

They have cut the pants much too short. The band at the top cuts right across the middle of my stoma bag – completely useless! Also, I asked for lace, and they haven’t put this on. Someone isn’t reading the directions the rep gave them.

My hubby wondered if I could go with another firm but I really don’t want to – when they get it right, the pants are excellent. This company uses a unique fabric which is specifically designed by a doctor to give adequate hernia support while not interfering with the operation of the stoma, and is the only company that does a bespoke service and home visits. Our hospital also deals with them and they run a regular clinic in the colorectal outpatients, and they know the rep that covers our area. The rep didn’t think that what had happened to me was a common problem and was mortified that it had happened to me at all, let alone twice! I had such a time with it last year when they got it wrong twice, and it took months to get it sorted.

In the meantime I am continuing to wear the old ones which the rep said were no longer giving me adequate support because they need replacing every year (they are now about 18 months old) as they gradually lose their stretch with wearing and washing, and also since they were made, I have lost some weight. I didn’t order any more early this year because I knew I was due to have surgery and you can’t wear them for several weeks after that as they exert too much pressure, and then I was waiting to see my surgeon and the stoma nurse for several months after I eventually got out of hospital. When I saw them in August they agreed I should continue with the support garments and the nurse arranged an appointment for the rep to call on me. Everything takes so long to get organised these days and with them making a mistake with the fitting just adds insult to injury and all the time my hernia is getting bigger, it seems.

I had my CT scan last Thursday and of course I haven’t had any result back yet. I shall probably phone the stoma nurse early next week to see if there’s any news.

Rollator

My hubby’s brother has used a rollator for some years now and swears by it, and several months ago, our sister-in-law suggested that I might find one useful. I did some online research and found the one I wanted on Ebay, but it was collect only, and too far away. I looked up the model but unfortunately it is no longer made, which was disappointing because this particular one ticked all the boxes for me. I set up an email alert on Ebay and decided to wait a while to see if any more came up, rather than getting a different one, and this week I got notification of one, and immediately bought it. It’s second hand but looks virtually unused, and I got it for a very good price, and they were prepared to send it, too. It arrived on Monday and it’s really good! We went for a 90th birthday drinks party later on that morning and I was able to try it out. It uses a lot less energy than walking with crutches.

Ruby is terrified of it.

The next thing is for my hubby to try and rig up some sort of bracket so I can hook it on the back of my buggy.

So again, another pretty eventful week chez Shosh! At least I haven’t been so exhausted this week.

WOYWW 487–Boxes and Leaves

Where does the time go? Another Wednesday has rolled around in what feels like 24 hours, all ready for another desk fest, and we are now into October!

Here is my desk as of Tuesday evening.

I have made good progress on my two boxes this week. They are now assembled, and in the above photo, the lids are just laid on top. I have yet to make flaps for the lids, and hinges for them, and also I was awaiting the arrival of some metal embellishments that I’d bought on Ebay, which came on Monday.

I may not use the corners on these boxes because I’m not sure they will work with the lid design I’ve chosen, and the feet have their own corners on them. The handles are a little bit smaller than I’d hoped, and I may not use these either on this project, but the two clasps I bought are absolutely gorgeous and will definitely be used. The rest can be kept in reserve for other projects as they are always useful to have in. All these metal fittings came with numerous small screws or pins for attaching them, but using them on mounting board boxes, I shall attach them with brads instead, and also use some glue.

To see what else I’ve done, you can see my previous post here, and in the meantime, here’s a shot of the finished decoration on the insides of the boxes.

Crochet

I’ve made a few more leaves for embellishing my striped scarf.

These are a bit larger than the previous ones, from another lovely pattern on Youtube. You can’t see very clearly in this picture but the design incorporates some decorative holes. They are fun to do now I’ve stopped getting lost with the pattern and forgetting to turn the work, and ending up with something looking distinctly un-leaf-like! They are nice to do when I’m resting with my feet up.

Cooking

Not a lot of activity in the kitchen this week because I’ve been really tired, having been burning the candle at both ends recently and needing to step back a bit and rest. I made more sourdough at the weekend, though.

I’m getting generally consistent results these days and I’m quite pleased with my loaves, but I’d like them to rise a bit higher. Nice open crumb, though, and a lovely flavour and texture. The only trouble is, the loaf doesn’t last the week! Sourdough keeps much better than regular bread but we do get through it rather quickly! It is time consuming to make, not involving a great deal of work, but I have to be here to attend to it regularly throughout a whole day. I’m not set up for making larger quantities so I think I’m going to have to go back to making normal bread in between, so we don’t run out!

Kitties

Only pictures of Ruby this week – sitting comfortably on my hubby’s chair…

…until he decided he wanted to sit down, so he bundled her up in order to dump her on my lap!

Lily was upstairs on the bed. Earlier this evening, my hubby told me they had a bit of a spat, fighting and swearing at each other. It was apparently mostly Lily, and we have no idea what brought it on, but perhaps Ruby was doing something to irritate her sister? A bit of sibling rivalry, no doubt. Fortunately everything was soon quite all right again. They really love each other and are usually together. We are getting tremendous kitty choruses at feeding time now the weather is getting colder and they are getting very hungry!

Health Update

I cancelled two things on Sunday because I was so tired. My activity level has crept up quite a bit lately, which is good in a way because it does prove I’ve got a bit more energy these days (I put this down to my change of diet and especially the inclusion of the fermented foods) but I was getting to the stage when I was starting to feel a bit desperate because I was so busy. This also meant that for months I’ve hardly had any time to spend in the studio, and getting back to that again just recently has shown me just how much I was missing it, and how much I need to be making art. As a result I have decided to cut back on some of my activities in order to take the pressure off a bit.

Regarding my ongoing gut problems, I don’t think there’s any doubt now that my hernia has returned. It seems to have grown over the past week, and I can now see it and it’s quite large. This is reassuring from one standpoint, because at least it’s not as likely to cause an obstruction as a small one, according to my surgeon. On Monday I had a lot of trouble with my stoma as a result, having to change the bag twice because of leaks, but I think that may have been my fault. To provide a bit more support, I decided to wear two pairs of worn-out support pants instead of the one. They certainly did feel nice and supportive but perhaps they were exerting too much pressure and stopping things working properly. I’ve gone back to one pair again and so far, so good! Hopefully the first of the new set of pants will arrive soon, and if they fit OK, I can order the remaining two pairs straight away. If I get further problems in advance of my CT scan on 18th, I shall make an appointment to see the stoma nurse and ask her to sort something out for me and maybe arrange for me to see my surgeon asap. The last thing I want is further surgery. It’s all very disappointing because it means that I went through all that terrible experience in the spring for nothing.

Have a great week, everyone.

Follow-Up Hospital Appointment

This morning I had my long-awaited follow-up appointment with the surgeon, after my operation at the end of March and subsequent major infection in April. At the time, he said he wanted to see me a fortnight after my discharge, but NHS timing being as it is, for them, two weeks = three months!

I had been having trouble with Kermit, my ileostomy, for weeks after the operation wound had healed, with many leaks and frequent bag changes. I kept hoping for an early appointment so that I could see the stoma nurse at the same time, and during this time, I was dealing with the problem myself and getting more and more frustrated with it. I suddenly remembered I’d had exactly the same problem after my original operation in 2015, and after trying various solutions, the stoma nurse had given me convex bags to try, which act by pressing on the parastomal area and making the stoma protrude more into the bag, and this solved the problem. I had been using the normal flat bags since the operation because initially, you have to let the area heal before using convex bags, and also, because Kermit Mk II was longer after being remade during my hernia repair surgery, I thought it would no longer be necessary. Anyway I decided to try, and hey presto, it worked, and the problem was solved.

I phoned the stoma team a few days ago to ask if I could see someone during the surgeon’s appointment, and was told that they were very short-staffed, with two on leave, and one with a broken wrist, but they would do their best. The HCA (complete with cast and sling) did manage to come, and she and the surgeon saw me together.

They agreed that I should have new support garments. The last ones I had were in January 2017 and they should be replaced every year as the elasticity tends to diminish, and I had also lost weight since then, so my current garments are probably not providing adequate support. The stoma nurse will arrange for a representative from the company to make an appointment with me, and she will come and see me at home.

I told the surgeon that I had a suspicion that my hernia had returned. He examined me, but couldn’t be sure, so he is booking me in for a CT scan to see what is going on. He said that if I had got a hernia again, it would be very much more difficult to repair, firstly because I have already had two repairs done, and secondly, the mesh that he inserted in March would make things a lot harder. I said that I realised this, and that I was most unwilling to have Kermit re-sited on the other side of my abdomen, which is what they often do under these circumstances. Not only would I have to get used to managing Kermit on the other side, but it would also introduce another weakness in the abdominal wall and a potential site for herniation.

Anyway, we shall have to wait and see what the scan reveals. If it has herniated again, I am going to suggest that we leave well alone, and try and manage it without further surgery, and I have a feeling he will agree. There is always a risk of it causing another obstruction, which would again involve major emergency surgery, with the added complications listed above. Meanwhile, we will try and get new support garments as soon as possible.

I told him that I was feeling better than I have felt for years, and my hubby agreed that I was much better these days. I told him I had decided to try and restore my gut microbiome by drinking kefir when I came out of hospital and was still on the strong antibiotic cocktail to combat the last of the infection. In hospital I had three different combinations of intravenous antibiotics and came home with the oral version of the last, and this was playing havoc with my gut. I knew my friend had had great success in dealing with her long-standing gut problems, by consuming kefir and other fermented foods, as well as some radical changes to her diet, excluding certain foods that were causing her problems. She came round, armed with some kefir grains and a lot of very helpful information. Since then, I have been immersing myself in this whole new world of fermentation and the diversity of the gut microbiome. My surgeon didn’t say anything in reply and he probably thinks I’m a weirdo, unless he’s kept up to date with the latest research in this area! Anyway, the proof of the pudding has been in the eating, literally, in my case! (A little aside: I do hate the way this expression has been adulterated recently – I keep hearing people on TV saying, “The proof is in the pudding.” This is nonsense!!!)

We also discussed my anticoagulant treatment. Up until my recent operation I’d been taking rivaroxaban, because some time previously, a CT scan had revealed numerous small pulmonary emboli. I was told to stop the rivaroxaban before surgery, and resume it immediately afterwards. This became a problem a few days after I was discharged, with profuse bleeding from the stoma, and I was readmitted overnight until it settled down. I remained off it during the following couple of weeks, during which time I was brewing up with the infected haematomas in my abdomen which led to the early stages of sepsis and my emergency readmission. When I was discharged, I asked about going back on the rivaroxaban and they said no, but to have the daily fragmin injections for several weeks (horrible – like bee stings!). Once these were finished, I spoke to my GP on the phone and asked again, and she said she had had a letter from my surgeon saying that I should not start again until I had seen him in the outpatient clinic. We all thought my appointment would be a lot sooner than it was, so all this time I have been without them. He said that I really should be taking them, and would inform my GP accordingly. It is a relief at last to know where I stand on this.

All in all, it was a good appointment. My surgeon is so expert and experienced, and speaks with authority but without being patronising, and is friendly and charming. He is always ready to listen to my point of view and we have fruitful discussions, and informed decisions are made. I am extremely blessed to be cared for by such a man. I always know I am in very good hands with him, and that he always acts in my best interest, and gives a lot of thought as to how to deal with the various problems I have had. I have the greatest confidence in him.

So now we wait and see what result the CT scan brings.

A Major Health Setback

Warning – medical details, but some nice photos at the end!

After being discharged from hospital recently for the second time after the bleeding from my stoma, I was hoping to make a good recovery and start picking up the threads of my life again.

However, although the early days seemed to be going OK, I didn’t pick up as quickly as I’d hoped, and for several nights running, woke up soaked to the skin having had night sweats – something I’ve never suffered from before, even during the menopause. I mentioned it to the district nurse and she agreed that it could be a reaction to ongoing use of paracetamol and I tried cutting this down but it didn’t help. Later, several doctors and nurses said that paracetamol didn’t usually have this effect. (So much for Dr. Google…)

Towards the end of that week I was starting to feel worse and was off my food, until on the Sunday (15th April) I couldn’t bear the smell of it cooking. I kept feeling extremely cold and shivery and that night we took my temperature and it was around 38 degrees – I didn’t really trust our little thermometer and decided to ask the district nurse to take it again the next day when she came.

That night I started to feel quite poorly and my hubby phoned the out-of-hours doctor – why is it that I always get ill over weekends and bank holidays when nobody is around??!! – he was absolutely useless and was clearly going down through a printed checklist and wasn’t really listening to me. At the end I said, “What about my high temperature?” He said I’d probably got flu!!! I said I definitely hadn’t got flu because I’d had no throat or nose symptoms – he said you can get flu without those. I knew I hadn’t got flu! Anyway, if someone reports a temperature and has recently undergone surgery, you don’t think “flu.” He said to phone the GP surgery in the morning if I was still concerned.

In the morning I felt terrible and collapsed in the bathroom. My hubby happened to come in just at the right moment and helped me back to bed. We took my temperature again and it was still high.

Then the district nurse arrived and we asked her to check it and she was so concerned that she immediately phoned the GP surgery and a doctor came up within 20 minutes. He examined me and said he was calling an ambulance. I was apparently showing two markers for sepsis and this needed dealing with immediately. Apparently if we’d left this another 24 hours it could have been curtains for Shoshi…

Once we got to hospital we had a bit of a wait but at least I was able to be lying down. I was in a cubicle in A&E and various people came in and took details and examined me, and all the while I felt absolutely freezing cold and my hubby wrapped me up with extra blankets etc.

Eventually a bed was found for me and they said that my feeling cold was my body deceiving me – my temperature was in fact quite high – nearly 39 degrees – and if they didn’t bring it down I was likely to have a seizure. They therefore proceeded to take away all the blankets, saying that they were actually making things worse rather than better, and turned electric fans on me to cool me down! I spent the next two nights shivering uncontrollably and not sleeping at all, but my temperature did fall a bit, and over the next few days was up and down.

The first thing they did was to try and identify the source of the infection I evidently had – I had a chest X-ray and they tested my urine, both of which were OK. I had a CT scan that revealed some post-operative haematomas and this was believed to be the source.

I saw my surgeon and he said that haematomas can often cause night sweats, so that was the explanation for those. I continued to have them during those first few nights in hospital – one night having two – what a hassle having to change all the bedding etc.

I was put on my first cocktail of IV broad spectrum antibiotics and was given one unit of blood as my haemoglobin levels were falling alarmingly. They were supposed to give me two units but they said a side effect of blood transfusion can be to increase one’s temperature so they held off on the second one – this happened a few days later.

Once they had established the location of the haematomas, they inserted a drain on the left side of my abdomen, with ultrasound guidance under local anaesthetic. I was pretty nervous about this procedure but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. This drain was a fairly fine tube and didn’t penetrate very deep; it was attached to a bag from which they took samples for culture, and at the top end it had a two-way tap to enable them to flush the drain daily. This drain wasn’t uncomfortable at all but limited my movement somewhat. It also had the effect of lowering my temperature quite rapidly as the infected fluid was draining away, but it was apparently not having completely the desired effect, so a couple of days later I had another CT scan that revealed more problems.

It’s hard to remember the exact sequence of events because I was feeling pretty lousy most of the time.

 

I do remember that my surgeon wasn’t on call for ward rounds for a few days and I was looked after by one of his colleagues, and he hummed and haa’ed about the infection being under the mesh, and query remove mesh? He wrote this on my notes. This gave me great cause for concern because this is a very serious matter and extremely difficult to deal with. When my own surgeon came back, he read this and said, “What’s all this about removing the mesh? We don’t need to do that!” He wrote in large letters in the margin, “Leave mesh alone!!” and signed it, putting my mind at rest straight away.

He said I needed a second drain, and as this one would be bigger and deeper, it would have to be put in under general anaesthetic. This was done, and afterwards I remained in severe pain until a couple of days after it was removed – it was very difficult to get out of bed and I managed to get onto the commode and that was it. This drain was connected to a vacuum bottle to assist the drainage of fluid, and with drains on both sides of my body, with a bag on the left side of the bed and a bottle on the right, my movement was even more restricted.

During the rest of my time in hospital, they tried me on two more cocktails of IV broad spectrum antibiotics because we were clearly dealing with what my mum would have described as “a very virile germ” haha! The final lot did seem to start working, and all through this time my temperature remained within normal limits, and my blood pressure (always on the low side) began to climb a bit so that the systolic pressure was up to three figures again – when it was down in the 80s they were quite concerned.

After a few days my surgeon decided I should have another CT scan to see how things were going, and said that the large drain on the RH side needed to be withdrawn by 2 cm in order to continue to drain more effectively. When the nurse tried to do this the pain went through the roof, before it had even moved a millimetre, and she said she wasn’t going to touch it any further without consultation.

They tried again, this time administering gas and air, but this had absolutely no effect except to make me feel slightly woozy. The pain was absolutely excruciating and I dreaded the moment when the wretched thing would have to come out altogether.

This drain was the first of the two to be removed. I told my surgeon that the gas and air had been useless and he said that because of the risks, it was not usual to remove drains under general anaesthetic, but he would give me some sort of sedative. I was given a Valium tablet which I had very little faith in, and again, all it did was make me feel slightly woozy – and less so than the gas and air. When they pulled out that drain I thought my last hour had come! It was about the worst pain I’d ever experienced.

By this time I was at a pretty low ebb, having been through so much, and all my reserves seemed to have gone, and everyone who did anything to me seemed to hurt me in one way or another! My poor hubby was so worried because I was at such a low ebb physically and emotionally, and it didn’t take much to reduce me to tears. Everyone has told me in the past how strong I am but on this occasion I definitely wasn’t, and felt completely at the end of my tether.

My surgeon said that that drain was very large and deep, and had penetrated through the same complex muscle layers to the right of the stoma (which is why the hernia operation had caused so much pain as well), and when a drain has been in for a few days, one’s body tends to develop tissue which “glues” it in place, which is why it is painful to remove. He said that after a day or two the pain should reduce, and it did. He said that the other drain was of a different sort – a much finer tube, less deep, and into simpler muscle layers. It came out a day or two later, and although it was pretty uncomfortable, it was nothing to compare with the removal of the deep one.

From the beginning I had problems with cannulae failing again. I had requested a PICC line from the outset before my hernia repair surgery but they were reluctant to do this and for once, the cannula they put in did stay the course. However, with this recent admission I was having endless problems, and having them dig around for a new site, causing me yet more pain and then for the wretched thing not to work from the outset, was becoming very wearing. They left the first one in for a couple of days longer than regulations required because it was still working and I was anxious about how a new one in a different vein would perform, but eventually they said it had to come out because of the risk of infection. Over the weekend I again requested a PICC line and they muttered on about risk of infection, and it not being necessary for short-term treatments, etc. until I was getting desperate. On the Monday my surgeon turned up again and I told him the trouble I’d been having, and immediately he said, “Let’s get the vascular access team straight down here and get a PICC line in right away, shall we?” He cuts through all the flim-flam with such authority but with such charm, and I always feel so safe in his hands! While I was in, I told him I’d already trusted him with my life three times, and he knew more about my insides than anybody but God, and I didn’t want anyone else messing about with me! He laughed! My hero.

I must share this funny photo with you. My hubby was endlessly amused by this chair – there was a stack of these chairs in the corridor for visitors. He pointed it out to quite a few other visitors and everyone had a good laugh!

Note the redundant apostrophe before the final “s” – this is something that always bugs me lol lol! We both thought that the writer’s spelling and grammar left a lot to be desired!!

After being in for 2 1/2 weeks they said I could be discharged. The infection was 90 percent plus dealt with, the drains had done their job, and the current course of antibiotics (now being taken orally) would do the rest. Because I’d had almost total bed rest during that period I was almost unable to walk, but could only shuffle very slowly with a walking frame. Because my hubby was so tired and so worried, and to give him a break, and also to allow me a transition period during which I could regain enough strength to be able to wash and dress independently and also to be more mobile, he fixed for me to spend a few days convalescing, and found me a room in the home where Mum had been.

This was rather a bizarre experience! I had had pretty negative vibes about the place because she had been so difficult, although I knew it was the best place and the care second to none. I knew a few of the staff and knew them to be efficient and caring. So off I went, last Friday, 4th May.

I didn’t sleep well throughout my time. On arrival there was a regular mattress which proved to be too hard after resting on it for half an hour, so they gave me an air mattress – I spent several hours sitting out of bed getting very tired indeed as they tried first one, and then a second, mattress – both of whose pumps were not working properly – they had been put away without being checked. In the end, I had to sleep the first night on the regular mattress, and they found a third air mattress the next day which did work, but the pump made such a loud buzzing noise that I had to continue to wear my earplugs as I’d done in hospital! Also, the room was small and the window couldn’t be opened very wide and I got very hot. I had come out of hospital in winter woollies and suddenly we were in the middle of a heat wave!

They cared for me so well. After that first night, a carer showered me and washed my hair – I was still very weak – and this gave me a tremendous boost, not having been able to do this for nearly 3 weeks!

The next day my mobility improved greatly, and I was able to walk, not shuffle, with the walking frame, up and down the corridor several times. The weather was glorious, and my hubby came over and we spent quite a bit of time over the few days I was there, sitting on the wonderful roof terrace they have, high up, overlooking the beautiful bay, and it was so hot that I began to catch the sun, and we had to go back nearer the building to sit under the umbrellas there.

The care home is part of a retirement village, which consists of the original beautiful Victorian manor house where I believe there is some accommodation, and where you can have meals; they have various functions there, and people who are not resident can join the club. My hubby belonged for a while during the time Mum was in the care home – he would often sit in the lounge with a book and a cup of coffee if his visit had been a difficult one. He got to know the staff there quite well.

Another part of the complex is a small building above the care home which is for convalescence, but since there were no available beds, I had a room in the main care home.

Below, there are some luxury apartments for people who are able to live independently. You can see the edge of this building on the left in the next photo, opposite the manor house.

Last year they had an open day and we were able to visit a couple of vacant apartments, and they were stunning – one or two-bedroom apartments with a small kitchen, bathroom and a lounge with a balcony looking straight over the sea.

Higher up, above the retirement village, is a block of luxury apartments, privately owned. In the foreground is the overflow convalescent home.

Looking back towards the care home from the roof terrace.

I think if the weather had been bad during my few days’ stay, I would have gone stir-crazy a lot sooner than I did – but sitting up in the sunshine and getting my first taste of fresh sea air and warm sun, and the sight of natural beauty after so long being confined in a place where everything you looked at was functional, was bliss. The views over the bay were stunning, and just what I needed!

On bank holiday Monday (2 days ago) my hubby took me out for a little drive and we went along the sea front, and enjoyed seeing all the holidaymakers in their summer clothes and the kids fishing in the rock pools with their little nets – some things never change – I remember loving this when I was a child! – and being so grateful for the glorious weather which would attract the holiday-makers and give a boost to the flagging economy of the town.

It was so lovely to get out and about, to be in the car, to see how much more green the trees were – just to look at something different and alive!

During my stay at the home, I got to know quite a few of the other residents (I was the youngest by far lol!!), most of whom were absolutely delightful and charming. I sat with the same people in the dining room and they were good company. The home has a weekly schedule of entertainments and activities, and on my first full day, you could go down to the manor house for a meal, and my hubby joined me for that. Half way through the meal my energy suddenly drained away and my hubby knew immediately that I had to go and rest, and said afterwards that it must have been serious if it prevented me from staying and enjoying some pudding!! He knows me too well… Yesterday was the day when residents could go out for a meal – this happens about once a fortnight. They have a mini-bus which can accommodate quite a number, including several wheelchairs, but my hubby drove me, and joined us. We had an excellent meal in a place near Dawlish, and when I came home, arrangements had been made for the continuation of my injections by the district nurse at home, and I was allowed to go.

Staying there opened my eyes to a few things. I was aware that there were social activities laid on, and how kind and efficient the staff were, but when Mum was there, she did not avail herself of any of this and preferred to spend her whole time in her room. I know that her deafness really isolated her, but having met the other residents, it saddened me that she didn’t make the effort to make any friends because they were all so lovely, and it was not surprising that she got so depressed, not taking advantage of all the lovely facilities in the home – there were several beautiful sitting rooms, one with a TV (she preferred to watch the TV in her room) and the beautiful sun lounge on the top floor giving access to the roof terrace. There were always jigsaws out, and lots of books and magazines. One of the things they provide is for someone to sit with residents in their rooms to keep them company on certain days each week, to prevent loneliness for those who perhaps are not well enough to leave their own rooms. Mum never took advantage of this, and then complained that nobody ever talked to her!

I am very glad I went, but oh so glad to get home yesterday afternoon – a few days was enough for me. My hubby had anticipated me being in for a week, but as I was so much better and he was looking so much more relaxed and less tired and strained, we decided to call it a day and get me home. Never has “Home, Sweet Home” meant more to me!

As for the kittens, when I first got home, they ran away from me, and when I attempted to get close to Ruby she was having none of it – I tried to cuddle her a couple of times but she squeaked and pulled away. Very disappointing when she had missed me so much during my absence but I thought maybe I smelt different! However, later in the evening I had two lovely long cuddles with her and she purred her little head off and got quite drowsy in my arms – this morning she’s again been a bit wary of me but things are definitely improving! My hubby says she’s a lot more settled since I got home, and isn’t looking for me and crying any more. I’ve never been away from home for so long and it must have been very worrying for her, wondering where I’d suddenly disappeared to for so long. I have missed them so much and last night I told my hubby how glad I was to be home, back with my little family! Life will soon return to normal, I am sure.

Meanwhile, he is doing the meals, which he was doing anyway in my absence, and having had that few days of convalescence, he doesn’t need to help me with any personal care. He is coming and going, and not worrying about leaving me on my own – all visitors (including the district nurse) have been told to let themselves in round the back to save me from having to get up to answer the door! Oh, it’s so good to be home!!!