Oncology Appointment

Full details on my Cancer Diary page.

I had my appointment with the oncologist today, a charming Chinese lady called Dr. Lo, who immediately put us at our ease. I had been told that the surgery was considered curative, but would need some chemotherapy afterwards as "belt and braces" to mop up any rogue cells which might still remain in my system.

I had been hoping for a single cycle of oral chemo, but in view of the fact that my cancer had invaded through all layers of the bowel wall and also into one lymph node, and was the most aggressive kind, I was told that it would be administered intravenously over the next SIX MONTHS!!! I was horrified when she told us that. Also, the oral chemo isn't suitable for someone with heart problems.

I am having Oxaliplatin (eloxatin) intravenously, every three weeks, for six months. This is far more radical than I'd hoped. I shall have a PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) installed for the duration of the treatment, and the chemo and any other drugs will be administered through the cannula in the crook of my elbow, from which they will also be able to take blood.

The PICC line will have to be flushed every week by the district nurse. Each treatment will take about four hours. Side effects will be cumulative over the course of the treatment, and which will be most severe immediately after treatment, and may include increased risk of infection, anaemia, bleeding and bruising, peripheral neuropathy (numbness and tingling in the hands and feet), and almost universally, extreme fatigue. Nausea and diarrhoea should not be a problem because drugs are prescribed to counteract these. There may be other side effects too; it all sounds pretty unpleasant.

As we left, my hubby took me into the chapel, which is just near the oncology department. It's absolutely beautiful. All around the altar are lots and lots of little teddies given in memory of babies who had died, and this moved me so much. Thinking of that made me count my blessings, and realise that whatever I've got to face, it's never going to be as bad as that. The chapel is such a beautiful sanctuary and I'm so glad we went in there before coming home.

I will be called in again probably early next week, when they will talk to me about my treatment, and possibly fit the PICC line and do my initial blood test and prepare me for the beginning of the treatment which will follow soon after.

I just hope I stay the course and can put up with it all... I am still finding it quite hard to get my head around the idea that I've had cancer at all, and haven't been able to think about that aspect much until now, because my brain has compartmentalised it all, allowing me to focus first on the surgery, then on managing the stoma.

It's a bit frustrating to think that I shall be made to feel poorly again just when I feel I am picking up after my operation and thinking I would soon get my life back again, but I feel it's still on hold and will be for some time now.

Gifts from Lovely Friends

I have received some wonderful gifts from friends who are all wishing me well for my forthcoming hospital stay – so thoughtful and caring!

One friend gave me the pretty little bag, filled with all sorts of thoughtful goodies and girlie things to make me happy and comfortable in hospital. There’s a puzzle book and a pen in the shape of a purple teddy, and lots of little bottles of nice things to keep me fresh and fragrant. A pot of sparkly red nail varnish and tissues and wipes, all in a nice small size to take up very little room – there’s never very much space to put things in hospital.

Sitting on top of all these goodies in the bag was a dear little bear with the softest fur. He is called Horace. He will accompany me to hospital, along with my special little platypus Humphrey, who was a gift from my hubby during my last major surgery twenty years ago, and Nursie Bear, who belongs to my hubby, and has accompanied many people to hospital over the years, to take care of them and nurse them back to health again. Her favourite phrase is, “Nursie Knows Best!” She does have that look about her, doesn’t she. You don’t mess with Nursie. Will there be room in the bed for me, I wonder?

Two other friends have given me little angels to keep me safe! The one on the left is a little pin with a stone in my favourite dark red colour, which I am going to pin on the lapel of my dressing gown, and the one on the right is a tiny glass jar with an angel charm, with slips of paper for wishes for your guardian angel! I know that the Lord will keep me safe, and surround me with His angels during this difficult time, and these little gifts are a reminder of that.

Aren’t people kind and thoughtful? I shall take these gifts in with me and think of all my lovely caring friends when I use them and look at them.

I am overwhelmed also by the huge number of good wishes and love sent from friends around the world, on blogs, forums and emails, and by the ever-growing collection of beautiful cards, all of which will be kept safely as a reminder of the love that surrounds me.

As I face the coming ordeal, I am cheered and comforted by the love and thoughtfulness of my many friends. You know who you are. May God bless you all.

Finally, my Big Black Blob that Nita so kindly drew on my tummy to indicate the position of the stoma, has been fading badly, so I’ve been going over it with my own permanent black marker so that they don’t have to go through the whole process of siting it again. I thought I would have some fun with it.

(Don’t worry, I’m not going to show you a photo of the stoma itself lol!! That would probably be TMI for most of you…) What with this and my multi-coloured hair, I think Mr. Pullan is going to have a fit!!

WOYWW 188

After completely forgetting about WOYWW last week, I thought I’d better make an appearance this week! The whole holiday season had me out of sync and what limited routine I normally have went completely out the window.

Thank you Julia for organising another weekly nosey fest so that we can all see what everyone is doing on their work desk. A wonderful opportunity for inspiration and friendship! If anyone reading this hasn’t a clue what I’m on about, click on the WOYWW link in my sidebar which will take you to Julia’s blog and you can join in the fun.

This week it’s more a case of “What’s On Your Work Floor Wednesday” – for the past couple of days I’ve been working on some new spoke guards for my wheelchair. I’d like to get these finished by 24th Jan. when I’m going to a craft show in Exeter, and I’m feeling rather ashamed of my current, very tired and old decorations on my wheelchair!

This is a frame grab taken from the video I’m making of the process – I haven’t bothered to photograph it again for WOYWW as nothing much has changed, just a couple more layers of papier mache on the spoke guards. The video will be in several parts and I won’t upload any of it till it’s completed, but watch this space!

I’ve also been busy working on my new Zentangle album and now have the pages and ring binder to put them in. It’s looking great, and will be a lot easier to use than the old one. I have several recent posts about the ATC-sized cards I’ve done of each pattern, so I won’t put links to them all. If you have time, have a wander.

(Note: Page showing reverse side of cards with step-out instructions has been blurred for copyright reasons.)

Also, I’ve been designing my first Zentangle patterns! These are also lurking in my recent posts and you’ll find “Y-Ful Power,” “Y-Pod,” “Nemnies” and “Spawn.” “Stonewall” is on its way.

Thank you everyone for your good wishes for Rev. Ernest Bear’s surgery – I managed to complete all the work before Christmas and it ended up as part of my Christmas present to my hubby. He is so thrilled to have his precious bear back all nice and smart ready for the New Year! I’ve put new pads on all 4 paws, and also added little patches (hearts on his hands – he gives a LOT of love!) and matching patches now decorate his blue trousers, and he’s got a new pair of red braces. All his clothes have had a wash, and I think he’s looking pretty chuffed about the whole thing!

Happy WOYWW everyone, and I hope I manage to visit a few of you this week, but when I’m feeling well enough to do anything, I’ve got to crack on with my spoke guards.